One step forward...

This morning I successfully put up two new light fittings and later two dimmer switches to match - excellent!

I am, however, typing this on my laptop as I've broken the desktop I normally use. I broke it putting the lights up. How, you ask? Well, under our stairs is the trip switch board for the electrics but there's no light to see what you're doing. I had to try each switch until the lights went out and one of the first ones turned off the supply to the PC. Oops. Now it won't boot up "properly" but will operate in Safe mode (Yes, I have tried System Restore but to no avail...). If it wasn't for this laptop I would be disconnected!!!

The lights look nice, though.

(Oh, and if you know how to fix the PC.....??)

Neeeeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwwwwww......

We have our bike (Kwak ZZR600) back on the road! I am very excited about this as riding a motorbike is one of life's very special joys for me. It is sooo fast! It's been SORNed for months as it broke it's own brake lever (by having a little lie down on a hot day on our front garden...) and electronically immobilised itself due to circuit board corrosion.
0-60 in about three and a half seconds - it's FANTASTIC!

I did my Direct Access about three years ago, and I tell you, when the examiner (very nice bloke, rode an R1) told me that I'd passed I nearly cried on the spot, seriously, I was that happy.

The novelty doesn't wear off, although I did a track day at Silverstone and that nearly made me give up riding on the roads. I experienced another reality that day - quite incredible! Nearly cried that day too when I arrived and heard, smelt, felt the bikes getting ready. Ah, yes. I think it's in you or it just aint. Part of me is indeed a "Biker".

Which reminds me of something I saw from my kitchen one day...

I watched an interesting vignette being played out just now. A Robin had flown through our outer back door and was struggling to find its way out again. It kept flying into the glass windows but wasn't finding the open door. As I drank my coffee and wondered how to help it I saw Socks, one of our cats, leap up and almost catch the Robin. This attack forced the Robin to fly the other way and...out the door!

There must be some sort of sermony-type message there...come on...think...I know:

"Sometimes in life it takes an unpleasant situation to force us in a direction that leads to true freedom."

Nice!

Calm down, dear......

I actually went on our running machine today (whilst listening to Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill). I am too fat and uncomfortable with it. I've blogged about eating and weight before so forgive me if it all sounds a bit familiar!

Michael Winner has recently lost a lot of weight and written a book, The Fat Pig Diet, and I've heard him talk about it a few times. The key is (drumroll...) to eat less. Not rocket science, is it? So why do I persist in eating too much? Well, it's the mind isn't it? I eat to celebrate, I eat to commiserate, I eat for comfort, I eat out of boredom, I eat simply for the pleasure, I eat to escape...

When was the last time I ate because I was actually hungry??
Can't remember.

I did start going to a group for compulsive over eaters and it was very helpful - it made a real difference to me as the aim is to get to grips with the reasons we eat, not what you weigh or should weigh. Then I thought I had it sorted and stopped going. Hmmm...

The problem with weight loss programs (with which I have enjoyed great success in the past) is that they in no way address the reasons for compulsive eating. It's treating the symptom not the underlying cause. Consequently, you reach your target and go out and celebrate with a great big meal!!

This is a much bigger (no pun intended) problem for men than most would think - it's hidden.

It can, of course lead to a vicious circle: I find myself with feelings of shame about my size so I eat for comfort which makes me bigger which makes me feel shame so I eat for comfort...

What I want, is to change inside so that instead of turning to food I turn to Jesus to supply my needs. I did just write a song about that...

So, Michael Winner, I salute you, for you have got me onto the running machine again and thinking about eating less.

Buses...

Nice to see that Sim has interrupted his hectic schedule to actually post on his Blog again - it does seem to be like buses with him though, nothing for ages and then loads all at once :-)

(Ballet can be confusing, but finding the right seat isn't supposed to be...)

This also made me laugh...

So the Association of Chief Police Officers have changed their collective mind about the reclassification of Cannabis, eh?

I heard on Radio 4 that they now believe that the downgrading of the drug a few years ago is, "Sending out the wrong message."

Well, DUH!

I suppose they have to ask...

So I'm at the checkout with my five, yes five, items on the belt.
The checkout lady asks me, "Would you like any help with your packing?"
I pause, then say, "I'll have a go, and if I get stuck, we'll call for help."
If looks could kill...

These make me laugh...

I know there are quite a lot of these but, for me, they have a cumulative comedic effect...

• "Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.

• "Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

• "For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.

• "Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.

• "Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.

• "Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.

• "Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.

• "Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

• "Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

• "Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

• "This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.

• "Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.

• "Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.

• "Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

• "Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.

• "Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.

• "Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

• "Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

• "This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.

• "May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

• "Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."

• "Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.

• "Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.

• "Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.

• "Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

• "Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.

• "Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.

• "Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.

• "Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.

• "Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.

• "Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.

• "For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.

• "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.

• "Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.

• "Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.

• "Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.

• "Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.

• "Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.

• "Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

• "Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

• "Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.

• "Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.

• "Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.

• "Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.

• "Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.

• "Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.

• "Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

• "Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.

• "Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.

• "Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.

• "Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

• "Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.

• "For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.

• "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.

• "This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.

• "Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.

• "Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

• "Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.

• "Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

• "Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.

• "Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

• "Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.

• "May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.

• "Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

• "Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

• "Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.

• "Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.

• "Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.

• "Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.

• "Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."

• "Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.

• "Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

• "Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

• "Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

• "Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

• "Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.

• "Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.

• "Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

• "Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.

• "For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.

• "Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.

• "Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

So it's late...

...at 12:52 at night right now. I've finished watching CSI, my wife has fallen asleep before the TV (again!) and I've been upstairs to prepare the way for our ascent to bed. Our two girls were asleep in our bed when I came home, now it was one and I carried her to her room; she, half asleep, still smiles at me and giggles. When I came in from Central Hall at about 9:30 they were both asleep there and how beautiful they looked. The youngest had since put herself to bed. The eldest boy was still awake and I tucked him in, the younger boy out for the count.

I am the only one awake now. It's quiet, but we are still all here. I feel it. When we're all awake...well, let's just say four kids can be demanding. Times like this, I think, WOW!, look what we made - look what God gave us! Look what he gave me! God has never been fair to me - he seems to give me all the good stuff.

Now it's 1:03 in the morning. A pause for thought. Then blessed sleep...

Different every time...

I'm recording in my room a new song and it's one of the frustrating ones. The song processes are different every time - in the writing and the recording. I like this as I don't do well with repetition. I don't do well with repetition. (Sorry, couldn't resist...)

Sometimes I write a song and it almost falls out, as if it was there all the time and I just had to play it. Others are as if I'm chiselling away, making slow progress, hitting my thumb with the hammer, but I get there in the end. Some take minutes and some take months.

Then there's the recording; it's the same story. With some, one vocal take and I'm happy with it - excellent! Other times I feel like giving up. (It's even more annoying when I'm struggling to sing something, to my satisfaction, that I wrote myself...). OK, this take, nope, maybe this one? Nope. Sigh.

A point comes where I say, "OK, this is going to have to do..." and I stop. I am nearly at that point with this one. I also know that I'm a perfectionist and generally no-one notices what I notice anyway...

Right, back to the other corner of the room I go.

Life's little suprises (or not actually)...

A note to our four children:

To the best of my knowledge, it has still not been made illegal to FLUSH THE TOILET AFTER A POO!!!!!!

And so it darkens...but...

...I have been noticing the trees this year and the colours they make - amazing! Plus, it's been bright each day so far so it's not felt gloomy at all and I am surprised at my bonhomie. I remember one year not long ago and it seemed like from November to January it rained and rained and rained and rained... And we lived too close to the school not to walk every day so we got wet every day.

Now, sadly, we live too far from the school to walk so we are forced to drive every day. Ah well.

Anyway, God does seem to be doing a particularly good Autumn this year.