Mark's blog

I commit to...erm...

2009-04-20T14:40:00.004Z

I've started having monthly gatherings for the musicians and techies (MUSOTECH) who serve the Sunday gatherings at Central Hall. We've had two now, and I'm excited about what we've started. I am not a natural gatherer but have realised how important these times are for getting to know each other and having all of those small conversations that make such a difference to "team". I think it's called face time in management speak.

I prepare the recordings of the talks at Central Hall for the website - now, I could email in the MP3 and stay at home but I choose to take it in because I usually have a few conversations with people "oh, as you're here...", and I've connected. I like these interactions, it's part of belonging.

We feel like we belong when we commit ourselves to something, when we are prepared to put ourselves out for a group or cause at a cost. So it is that we are working towards a sign up sheet (or something) for the musos and techies outlining that to which we are actually committing ourselves. My thoughts, so far, are that we do an annual sign up, probably following the academic year. People commit for a specific time, not a vague "this could be a week or the rest of my life" type thing. Each person then gets a chance, annually, to recommit or take time out.

Looking over a range of other churches' versions of this I've picked up on three main areas of commitment:
1) Personal spirituality: be following Jesus...
2) Commitment to church body: other areas of service, small group membership, Sunday attendance..., and
3) Practical considerations: punctuality, availability, practice, gear, prompt email responses...

The examples I brought spanned a wide range from very specific to quite vague. I'm hoping we'll arrive at something that is not prohibitive but does, nonetheless, require a step of commitment from the person wanting to be a part of the team.

I think we'll enjoy a greater sense of belonging and team when we all know the framework within which we are corporately operating and what our reasonable expectations are of each other.

We shall see!

I am clearly not a gorilla...

2009-04-14T21:39:00.005Z

So I went to Go Ape as I'd said to my beautiful and generous wife that it looked fun to do and that I'd like to have a go. Me, who gets vertigo standing on a dining room chair changing a light bulb, yeah right! Anyway, she booked me and our lodger in and off we went. Oh, I was being so brave during the safety talk; yeah, whatever, just let me loose!

And then, we went up. And so followed getting on for three hours of terror! There are four sections - between each you get to plant foot on terra firma and after two I was ready to pack it in. But I knew that I would be kicking myself if I didn't force myself to do it (sounds like that triathlon hill, doesn't it? Oh, foolish pride...) and do all the most difficult options (Black - most "extreme", ooh lummy...). What doesn't help is when your brother-in-law and two nephews have already been round, done all the Black routes and are looking up at you. Grinning. Go on, Uncle Mark! So I had to prove myself (...and all our kids were watching. They were very impressed...).

Well, I got to the end, but I did experience a few moments of near panic and was so glad to get to the finish. I got a certificate! And a sticker! I'm really glad I did it, but once is enough. Last night I dreamt I was hanging off the edge of a high building...

Our lodger was throwing himself off backwards and upside down - no fear whatsoever, I don't understand...and he was shaking tree I was standing on, I forgive him...

It would be easy to do a bit about being afraid but pushing on knowing that ultimately you cannot fall, but hey, you can do that bit for yourself. Bed for me soon, and more dreaming about falling from a great height. Super.

If it 'aint broke...

2009-04-06T16:37:00.005Z

We all enjoy a love hate relationship with computers, don't we? (OK you Mac users, for you just a love love relationship...ahh, sweet!) Today the "special tool" (hammer to you) was nearly used on my music PC but I'm typing on it now, so clearly it lived to see another day.

So my PC's working just fine but I think that a newer webcam would be better than the one I have (fruit of a frustrating attempt to have a video skype chat with someone), so it's off to ebay and a Logitech Fusion now sits atop my monitor - I took the photo with it. But, I did spend a lot of the day getting the computer back to how it was in the morning! If it ain't broke as they say...

So I install the new(er) webcam and find that now my soundcard and ethernet card don't work. No sound, no web. Call me Mr Picky, but this is definately worse than before, not better. Better had been my intention.

A friend commented (as I was keeping everyone up to date on my progress via Facebook) that people who go to Macs just can't take the pain of these things happening, and that I should be a man and fix it. And you know, I do feel great having fixed the problem I didn't want to have in the first place. If nothing had gone wrong I wouldn't be feeling as triumphant as I am now!

There's something in this. Given the choice, I'd probably rather avoid all problems and the associated frustrations, but then I wouldn't have those moments of, "YES! LOOK GOD, WE DID IT!", would I? The need to solve problems seems to be built in but so, it also seems, is the desire to avoid them.

The good news, folks, is that we probably don't need to be seeking out problems to keep us sharp, they will come anyway. Especially if you have a PC, not a Mac.

Now, it's Ctrl+Alt+Delete isn't it...??

Early morning prayer...

2009-03-30T09:36:00.004Z

Yesterday I awoke to the sound of Radio 4 at about 7am, and promptly began my regular Sunday morning prayer session. This is something I have found easy to apply myself to and, in fact, have found it a very natural thing to do first thing on a Sunday morning before leading the musical worship at the meeting. It is, after all, the Lord's day.

In case you'd like to learn it, it goes like this:
"Oooooooohhhhh Looooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrd, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase don't let this be what I think it is. Pleeeeeeeeeaase let this be a dream. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease can I STAY IN BED???? Amen?"

Ha ha! And I MEAN it too! I am absolutely not a morning person (ask my wife...no, actually, don't...) and that's with the SAD light that lights up before I do.***

In these moments of purity I do remember, however, that later I will be glad I got up and dragged myself to Central Hall. And so it was yesterday - what a wonderful time we had! I don't say this to honour myself, but to honour God. I point out my regular prayer session lest you imagine that I am any more than flesh, blood and willing spirit! But God. But God. But God.

His presence was tangible, it is one I will remember.

The rhythm of God is always there. Sometimes we hear it, sometimes we don't. It had no beginning and it has no end. Sometimes we hear it, sometimes we don't.

Yesterday I think we we heard it :-)

*** Seasonal Affective Disorder: either a real physiological condition presenting as low mood due to lack of sunlight, or an excuse for being a grumpy so-and-so throughout Autumn and Winter. All I can say is that the SAD light next to my bed has made a big difference. You should've seen me before!!!

Now every Monday, possibly...

2009-03-23T09:10:00.005Z

I like Sim's idea of blogging every Monday so I'll give it a go - I think he's tapping away right now!

So, here's my heart rate from yesterday's Marwell Zoo 10k run. Even my shoulders are aching today...

The big rise at about 4km is where I soooo nearly gave up and walked, it was a killer (for me) hill but I knew that I'd be gutted if I stopped and would be kicking myself later and I JUST managed to keep going. After that the course is pretty much all gently downhill. You finish on a couple of hundred yards uphill stretch, though, to cross the line in agony - that's when my HR peaked at 203...

Races always make me think cheesy thoughts about life, you know: the victory when you think you're going to give up but you push through, the top of the hill WILL come, the pain IS bearable, I will NOT vomit, you know the stuff!

There's a lot of faith involved - faith that you will feel BETTER in a km or two, that you CAN do it, that you ARE strong enough to keep going, and I did pray in tongues up that hill for God's help to get me there, and He did.

Experience is crucial too, call it learned wisdom. I know that last time I felt this bad on a hill, it DID pass and I DID keep going, I've been here before and He brought me through then as He will now.

Now, I'm not pretending that my struggle was a real life struggle, but I do find it interesting how it mirrors, on a macro scale, bits of life.

You are the hungry

2009-03-11T17:10:00.001Z

I reach for You

2009-02-27T12:03:00.002Z

But at what cost...

2008-12-20T12:12:00.004Z

So it's a cancer free baby for Christmas is it?

Sounds wonderful on the face of it, right? Well, what's actually happened is that embryos with the gene for this type of breast cancer have been discarded and this one, free from the gene, has been kept. So, when the mother says, "We are eliminating the gene from our line." she is actually describing the elimination of a line of family. That's people, folks. The message being sent here is that if you are going to suffer breast cancer then it is better that you, as a person, never even existed.

An obvious question is begged but it's not new. "Screening" is available for more and more conditions - how many of us would not have made it through the genetic sieve due to a propensity towards a certain type of disease or illness? Are we seriously going to say that a life involving disease is a life worth nothing?

I find all of this very unsettling.

The pursuit of perfection is understandable but, at what cost?

Four days in Florida...

2008-12-10T10:46:00.003Z

Ali and I have just returned from four days in Pensacola - what a great time! We'd never been to America before and loved the part we saw. We went to meet up with Roy who was at Brownsville Assembly of God for three nights.

I simply enjoyed everything about the trip (oh, apart from getting lost between the airport and the hotel when we arrived...). The sun shines so brightly, the cars are so big, the roads are so wide and empty, the beach was beautiful, the flying was exciting, the hotel was perfect for us...

The photo was taken on Gulf Breeze beach - it looks like a postcard, doesn't it? So beautiful. I've posted a lot more photos on my Facebook page. I think you have to be my "friend" to see them, I'm not sure?

We think this was only the third time in nearly 14 years of marriage that we've been away together on our own (one of those was our honeymoon)! Hmm, maybe we could do it more frequently!

It wasn't just the place and the weather that made it so good, though. It was the whole package. It was the fact that we travelled thousands of miles to go to three meetings and hook up with Roy, Mel and the kids, that God spoke to us, that we were prayed for, that we worshipped Jesus together.

A wonderful trip. Special.

I'm back!

2008-11-17T23:05:00.002Z

Well I am back from my adventures on Tour; when my head is straighter I'll post about it.
In the meantime I spotted this about one of my most favourite subjects: "The world has never seen such freezing heat" in the Telegraph. Another small step in the right direction.

Made me cry this morning...

2008-10-06T22:05:00.002Z

Big adventure...

2008-09-20T14:01:00.005Z

I am currently on tour with Roy Fields - how did that happen??

If you'd like to see where we've been so far you can take a look at Warren Kritko's photos which he's uploading as we go along. So far we have had 5 dates, tonight is Winchester Vineyard and then we head North tomorrow to Yorkshire then onto Scotland. The rest of the itinerary is here on Roy's website.

We are having an amazing time, what can I say?

The thing I love about Roy and Melanie is that they put Jesus first, last and everywhere in between - now there's something I can wholeheartedly buy into :-)

I try not to read school letters...

2008-09-08T19:21:00.004Z

So the kids are back at school and I am able to "pop out" again! Oh the freedom!*

So it was that on Wednesday morning I drove our four to school. Our two boys go to the Junior School (Blue jumpers) and the two girls go to the adjacent Infant School (Green jumpers).

We noticed, as we got closer to the schools, that whilst we had seen green jumpers, we hadn't seen any blue ones. Oh, that sinking feeling. I convinced myself that if I concentrated really hard I could make the boys' school open by sheer willpower.

No.

So the boys had the day at home and I stayed in.

I have, I should say, done this several times and the kids are quite used to it!

* I would, of course, never want to be without our kids. But it's great to drop them ALL off at school!

A bit better...

2008-08-25T09:37:00.004Z

The results are in, out of 244:
Swim 61st
Bike 174th
Run 115th

Overall 140th

(The winner finished in 1 hr 5 mins 4 secs and the last finisher in 2hrs 41 mins 20 secs - question: who made the greatest effort, eh?)

Now, I must learn how my bike shoes do up and undo...

Very happy...

2008-08-24T16:40:00.006Z

Yes, it is over and I finished well! Total time 1 hr 34 min and a bit. It's a fascinating head journey, I find, when doing these things. You're up, you're down, you believe, you lose faith in yourself one minute, you regain it the next...

The swim was good, under 7 mins, but I clambered out feeling exhausted - oh dear, what have I done? I've still got the bike and the run to go! I've only just started and I'm done for...but then I got to have a slight rest as I couldn't remember how my bike shoes undid! Ha, ha! Anyway, this has to be one of the most beautiful bike routes - through the New Forest, avoiding ponies (cattlegrids are a bit scary on a bike in the rain I can tell you...). Onto the bike and it was fine (flat course, this one) - I kept my cadence up which may have helped. Also I knew where I was in the ride by checking my time, at Salisbury I felt all over the place and thought it would never end. Just over 1 hour and I was back at the transition area, this time trying to figure how to get the shoes off! Starting the run felt bad, really hard and I decided that I would just keep going, NO stopping. As it progressed, though, it got easier and easier ending up in me being surprised that the finish came so quickly :-)

The two pictures are the same Triathlon, one in 1995 and today.

13 years difference! 13 years! Wow, you know you're getting older when you can say that ;-)

Southampton Triathlon...

2008-08-23T20:46:00.001Z

...is in the morning! Can't wait :-)
I'll be in the water at 9:25 and should be well finished by Monday.

Pascal's Prayer

2008-08-23T12:49:00.000Z

“Lord, help me to do great things as though they were little,
since I do them with Your power;
and little things as though they were great,
since I do them in Your name.”

So...

2008-08-18T23:37:00.000Z

Frederick Beuchner wrote:
"Intellectually we all know that we will die, but we do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as though it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as though our lives would go on forever."

Francis Chan, "Crazy Love, Overwhelmed by a relentless God."

You shall go to the ball...

2008-08-18T11:32:00.005Z

I believe my knee is better, hurray! This being the case I'll be hurting myself again this Sunday morning taking part in the Southampton Fast Twitch Triathlon. Love the name, eh? Fast Twitch, referring to muscle fibres that make you go fast. Hmm... I'm nervous even thinking about it! Well, nervous and excited at the same time...

400m swim, 18 mile bike, 3.5 mile run, no problem. Oh, unless there's any sort of hill on the bike in which case I nearly grind to a halt, or the organisers fail to put up CORRECT SIGNAGE ON THE RUN SECTION AND SEND ME THE WRONG WAY EVENTUALLY HAVING TO ASK A RANDOM OLD LADY HAVE YOU SEEN A LEISURE CENTRE AROUND HERE ANYWHERE WHITE OAK I SHALL SAY NO MORE.

And relax.

Nerves are funny things, they make you visit the bathroom before the race with a particular sense of urgency, and in this I am not alone. It's the only time I see a queue for the gents!

Nowadays we associate emotions with the heart but the Greeks, I think, held that the liver was where it's at feelings-wise. This makes much more sense, it's in the intestines if you ask me (proof is in the previous paragraph!). After all, we talk about having the "guts" to do something or not, don't we?*

Anyway, enough wibble for now, I need to go and, erm, pay a visit...

Oh, still no sign of Boots the cat and the sighting was another cat that looked a bit like him :-(

*It's just occurred to me that St Valentine's Day cards possibly wouldn't carry the same appeal with images of intestines on them, would they??

And here we go again...

2008-08-15T15:52:00.002Z

A while back I posted here about exam grades and golf clubs. And here we go again, this time with A levels. In light of Universities having to reject record numbers of students with three A grades there will be, wait for it, an A* grade. So now the grades chunk down one step as with GCSEs.

I actually heard someone on Radio 4 in support of this saying that those who in future got A grades wouldn't feel as though they'd done any worse than those who got A*. Eh? What are you talking about?? The current A will become a de facto B. There can only be one top grade! Let's count it: one.

It seems to me that the examination process serves two main purposes:
a) Students achieve something tangible. Good for them.
b) We differentiate between students according to their attainment. Good for us.

Problems come when we want all the students to not only achieve something, but achieve everything. When I was a Secondary School Maths Teacher I saw a continuum of ability in my pupils. No really, I did. You may not like it but some were very bright, some were very, erm, challenged and most were in the middle. It's just the way it is.

Why are we trying to pretend that we're all the same? So you got a B, that's because you didn't do well enough to get an A. Tough? Probably, but the alternative is what we have each year as the results come out: more and more bunching at the top leading to the inability to differentiate between the best.

I see the sense in criterion referenced testing for some sort of entrance or medical exam where a definitive standard needs to be achieved, but what's the point with GCSEs and A levels?

I don't suppose there'd be any point suggesting a return to normative assessment? No, didn't think so, it just wouldn't be fair...

Where's he gone?

2008-08-12T09:46:00.001Z

And while we were away Boots has done a runner. I hope. Socks is here but no Boots. I asked at some houses in our road and may have a sighting, I'll investigate.

I do hope we find him :-(

Back en Engleterre...

2008-08-11T23:27:00.006Z

Ah yes, to be back in Blighty is great. The holiday was however, also, great! Two Gites (I think that's French for Cottages...) with a swimming pool and Jacuzzi, well you can't complain can you? I have a very nice tan now, although I fear it may fall off some time soon, although even my shins are far more presentable now than before I went. The highlights? Well. the final visit at the end of the French adventure to St Michel's Mount took my breath away! Even from afar as we approached I just needed to keep looking at it. Once atop this great edifice I was nearly overcome with vertigo, however, and just wanted to get back to terra firma - it was soooooo high up!

Also, a Chateau we visited was simply amazing - built just to show off!

I enjoyed being able to speak a little French: "Avez vous Wifi?" and "Pardon" and "Merci" etc...

There were too many flies and little or no web access - Mark and I had to drive to a "weefee" equipped bar and then nag them to get it working - we got there in the end, however, and managed to Send and Receive eventually.

For me, it was very good to feel a measure of detachment from what I do each day/week and take stock of things. To return with an invigorated vision and reassessment of the tasks in hand.

We shall see what fruit this produces forthwith.

En France...

2008-07-25T22:32:00.002Z

We are off to France for two whole weeks tomorrow! Au revoir to both of you, I hope that you find something else to read in the meantime that bouys you in a similar way.

I will, of course, update you on my knee upon my return. I know you're all very concerned.

Oh, hopefully I can get web access out in the sticks in which case, fear not, I'll keep you informed :-)

Oooh, my knee...

2008-07-23T22:36:00.002Z

My knee is injured. On the third and last lap of the Triathlon running (again, I use this term in its very broadest sense...) up a short dirt hill I felt a sudden pain in my right knee. As you know, I finished the race, it didn't feel too bad. Until I played golf and then it was! I may need to miss the Southampton Tri (my local one! I'll probably need to alert The Echo to my possible absence...), oh well, I am 39 and next year I'll be a Veteran...

Next year I want to do an open water swim in the wet suit my brother's passed on to me, so I'm not about to saddle myself with an ongoing knee problem. This being the case, I shall persevere with the stretchy bandage thing and the meds and confine myself to swimming lots.

White Oak Triathlon...

2008-07-07T23:43:00.002Z

Well, I've just seen the results of the race on Sunday. For Salisbury I was about halfway up (down?) the field and I was hoping to improve on that at White Oak but, alas, I came 175th out of 253.

My brother, Pete, came 9th. No exclamation mark there, as when he ran past me he looked like a Gazelle in full flow, a study in balance and peak physical conditioning. The backdraft almost knocked me over. (He recently did a half Ironman in Switzerland so White Oak is a bit like walking to the shops. And maybe back. For me, it's a test of ultimate physical endurance...). Oh, and whilst we were walking (OK, he was walking, I was limping...) away from the Sports Centre I said, "Erm, is your back brake rubbing?", and indeed it was. So, my little brother came ninth whilst cycling with the rear brake on! ("I don't know what it was, maybe it was the wind, I never really got into the bike..." Bro, your back brake was on...)

Now, in my defense, towards the very end of the "run", and I use the term in its very broadest sense, there was a sign issue which led me and about five other guys to go the wrong way. And get a bit lost. The right turn sign said, "Bike route". We were clearly not on bikes, we were running, so we went straight on up the hill for a while. When we realised we'd all missed the turning someone asked an old lady if she knew where the Sports Centre was...ever so slightly annoying. I reckon this added at least a quarter of an hour to my time. Maybe an hour. At least. I could have WON IT!

Anyway, it was a total but painful joy to complete another "Sprint" Triathlon and I shall wear the T-shirt with pride.

And, lest I forget, last December I was a fat man in despair. God put Michael Winner and his book in my way at just the right time* and here I am, at 39 taking part in Triathlons after an approximate "rest" of 13 years - a minor miracle!

To finish, I quote 1 Tomothy 1:8, "For physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come."

* God's timing amazes and thrills me. The same thing at the wrong time leads to nothing, but He knows the time, the season, the very moment for life change. He is able to draw us to Himself at just the right time. Romans 5:6. "You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly."

So you see, you really can't help much...

2008-07-04T14:13:00.003Z

Read this article.

You may not like it. You may not like it because, as I've postulated before, what we fear the most is impotency in the face of Climate Change.

Avoid standby mode on your TV if it makes you feel better.
But that's all you'll achieve.
Sorry.
Deal with it.

"I understand that this tattoo is permanent and will last the rest of my life"

2008-06-25T16:18:00.001Z

That's what I had to sign at the tattoo shop, I like that! Here it is:

What can you say?

2008-06-20T19:41:00.001Z

This brought tears to my eyes...

Romans 1:16...

2008-06-09T15:05:00.012Z

A few weeks ago I had the privilege of going on HTB's Worship Pastor Retreat at Malshanger in Basingstoke. It was a truly great time - Monday to Thursday with 19 other (musical) worship leaders from around the world (and others staffing it) in a country house on a beautiful estate AND full English breakfast every morning! (I allowed myself some "holiday eating" btw :-D).

It was run by Tim Hughes and Al Gordon but was excellent nonetheless, heh, heh ;-)

Our time was very balanced, split between worshiping*, teaching, discussion, praying, waiting on Him, football outside, watching a film, walking, chatting, eating, explaining cricket to the Americans...explaining it again...and again...giving up...explaining custard**...

Anyway, my "moment" came when we'd been praying and waiting and I stood forward for breakthrough. I'd felt a glass ceiling of some sort but didn't know what it was. Some prayed for me for a time and said a couple of (good!) things over me, then I felt Jesus was asking me if I was ashamed of Him? Ashamed of Him?? No way!! Am I?? Am I? The thought broke my heart and I was in tears. Part of me obviously was, and this came as a real surprise to me. He dealt with something right there and I feel different now.

And, just this week I had a meeting with a friend in Starbuck's, was telling him about this and the tears came again, which was another surprise! (I don't know what they thought Neil had said to me...??) So this is clearly not over, but very exciting, bring it on!

And that's why I'm going to get "Jesus" tattooed on my arm, I'm just choosing the font...watch this space!

* I use the word "worship" here in it's musical sense, worship is, in reality, "our occupation with God Himself, with the greatness of His being." and not confined to song!

** On seeing one of us pouring custard on sponge pudding: "Erm, why are you putting pudding on your cake?"

Triathlon...

2008-05-30T14:48:00.005Z

Lots to tell from the last week but I'll start with my first Triathlon in about 13 years.

Last Sunday morning at 9 o'clock I was in Salisbury starting my swim. Now, I had been observing the previous wave (no pun intended) in the pool clambering out as they finished. They seemed to be struggling to even get out of the pool! Pathetic, I thought, but all was to become clear - the swim finished at the deep end, hence you couldn't "jump" out of the pool - I thought I'd never get out! It took all my strength to drag myself up and out :-D
So, off I ran out of the pool into the rain (which wouldn't stop for the whole race...) and across to the "transition area", a.k.a. muddy field, where I'd left my bike earlier. But I couldn't find my bike. A fellow competitor had left his bike shoes on my bag and so I ran straight by. Twice. Oh well! I did find it in the end - shoes, number, helmet, bike and go. 20 miles later I arrived back in the mud and then couldn't find where my stuff was. Again. Oh well! So, change shoes, switch number to front, cap and shades on and......hey, what happened to my legs!! Where are they?? I know I have legs because I can see them but can I feel them? Nope! I'd forgotten that particular feeling, legs like numb bricks. Still, I managed to "run" (the word "run" here is open to broad interpretation, including: "squatting whilst wiggling legs and moving along slowly in great pain", for example...) the 4 miles to the finish and savour the achievement of finishing, hurray!

I came 101st out of 200 and my brother (who came 5th at Sevenoaks) says he's very proud of me :-) I do not think he's being funny.

You should notice that I have added "Triathlete" to the bit about me now.

Lessons for next time are pretty obvious - make sure you know where your bike is!

Oh, and apologies to the man who was next to me who now has no goggles. I do now have two pairs, but it wasn't me and I didn't do it. I hope you find a good deal on some new ones.

God the artist...

2008-05-02T22:31:00.004Z

(Comment on Gene Simmons another time, still trying to crystallise a sensible comment...)

Just been watching Newsnight Review again and I found myself asking the same questions I do each time I watch. Here we have the great(ish) and the good(ish) discussing a film/play/book in, what seems to be, absolute terms.
From whence does the criteria for excellence arise?

Well, of course, as a Christian I believe that all creativity comes from God and hence (as all of us are created in His image) we have an innate recognition of this creativity as an expression of God the Creator.

What makes me wonder is this: what makes one thing "good" and another "rubbish"? Take films, for example, and I love watching films - big screen, surround sound, full immersion experience. But films are easy, aren't they? That film was "good" or that film was "rubbish". Theatre, it seems to me, is another ball game as are books . Listening to Newsnight Review I'm left thinking that these people claim a grasp of something that slips through my fingers - the way they talk so earnestly about, in this case, a play and seem to know whether the production was right or wrong, good or bad, absolutely.

Take Jackson Pollock. I look at his paint dribbles and think, hmmm, not so tricky? But if I tried it would look like a preschool accident (you may think JP's work does indeed look like this!), and yet there really is something there.

In my case, take the song writing process: what makes a melody line or harmony or lyric right or wrong? Opinion? Something much deeper, I think.

A reflection of God as Creator placing a part of creation in each of us - when we hear it or see it we just know.

Come on!

2008-04-24T08:34:00.003Z

A new low this morning - 72.8kg.

So, that's (since mid December) 17.7 kg or 2 stone 11 lbs gone or nearly nine 2 litre bottles of (Diet) Coke.

20% of me has disappeared.

Ta daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!

"Shrink Wrap" new series...

2008-04-21T22:05:00.005Z

I just caught the last half on Dr Pamela Connolly's "Shrink Wrap" with Joan Rivers.

I've blogged about these programs before here and here - the new series is absolutely no less enthralling than the last. Why do I find these programs so fascinating? A good question. I think it's, for me, because the human condition is revealed, in all its weakness - and these sessions are very revealing.

I'm reminded, as I watch, of the earlier Michael Parkinson interviews when I was younger. He'd have on his program, say, a Hollywood star and he's interview them, just them, for long enough to find out something new about them, something that revealed a facet of their character as another human being - not the "Celebrity" persona. When his show was brought back, that had all gone, replaced by short chat sound bite irrelevancies. Shame. Big shame.

Dr Pamela's program is amazing. The participants are genuinely stunned at her perception and her ability to show them things about themselves they didn't expect or know.

Next week it's Gene Simmons of rock supergroup KISS, I can hardly wait!

Mindgames...

2008-04-14T14:08:00.005Z

I have noticed that I've been "relaxing" a bit with my eating and need to refocus as my weight's gone up a little. This feels like a second phase type of thing - I've lost the bulk (two and a half stone in old money) but have a bit more to lose. As of today I am, according to my cheapo Fat Percentage monitor 27.7% fat. I weighed 76.1kg this morning so I'm pretty much 21kg of fat. Now, you do need some fat, so weighing about 55kg would be bad. Not much danger of this, however...

So what's my "healthy" weight with the recommended BFP (Body Fat Percentage)? Here, for a 39 year old male it's 22%, for a 40 year old it's 25%.

22% makes me 70.5 kg, next year I can be 73.5kg.

(Yes, Alex, I am assuming no change in muscle since it is for ALL intents and purposes here, IRRELEVANT!)

So, 5.6 kg to lose.

Now, the temptation I've been recognising is to stop now and settle for what I've achieved - "You've done really well, Mark, now you can just relax and EEEEAAAATTTT!!"

Hence my take-out count has been creeping up, I ate much more than I normally would this weekend whilst away and my snacking during the daytime has re-emerged a bit. A wise man told me that "Good is the enemy of Great" and it is sooooooo true.

Today I recommit myself to my task and stop messing about.

Pass the Zimmer...

2008-04-09T09:47:00.002Z

I've entered the Salisbury Triathlon on 21st of May, yay!

I looked at a Tri site yesterday to have a browse and discovered, to my consternation, that you become a Veteran at the ripe old age of 40! I'm 39, next year I'll qualify for the Vet's category! Yikes, that makes ya think.

I'm finding my reaction to this very interesting. I like getting older and enjoying each life season as it comes and goes, I wouldn't want to be younger again, I feel I'm still approaching my prime. But, it does make me feel odd that in a year I'll be a Vet!

Newsnight...

2008-04-07T22:19:00.002Z

And Nigel's just been on Newsnight on the BBC as well! Up against Prof. Chris Rapley CBE from the Science Museum it has been fascinating. "An Appeal To Reason" is the title of Lawson's book (and it was the title of the lecture I alluded to earlier) - Paxman quoted from the book, "It is better to do nothing than to do something stupid." Nice, I like it. Lawson's point is that devoting all to Mitigation based on, in my opinion, groupthink, is indeed stupid. Moreover, the economics of it all, and this is primarily Lawson's point, don't make sense.

I know you tend to get that for which you are looking, but I think Chris lost that particular one, and he was looking as one on the back foot.

Altogether now: "The Times They Are Achanging"...

Nigel Lawson...

2008-04-07T21:10:00.004Z

...is on The World Tonight on Radio 4 now and I'm listening as I type - another example of the increasing media coverage being given to the alternate viewpoint. As you know, I've blogged about him before in November '06 and his Lecture to the Centre for Policy Studies in which he presents a wonderfully sensible viewpoint with which I wholeheartedly agree.

Boots...

2008-04-07T21:01:00.003Z

...is at the emergency Vet! "Boots is bleeding!" the kids cried, and indeed he was. Somehow the 6ft snooker table leant against the wall fell on him (I have no idea how this was even possible...) and so off to the Vet I went. He's in shock with a nasty cut to the top of his palate (stitches...) and a dislocated jaw! I'm to pick him up at 8am and take him to our regular Vet for his continued care. Worried about him, he's in a bit of a pickle right now :-(

Pray for our cat.

Doubt...

2008-04-06T21:30:00.002Z

Tonight's meeting at New Community was about doubt - and how refreshing!

When considering doubt I always remember (and this is true, I do always remember this...) my first placement in my PGCE year when training to be a maths Teacher. I had a conversation re Christianity with a teacher at this school, who was a "lapsed Catholic". I said to him that I "knew" that God existed. He said to me that I couldn't "know". So I asked him what I could I say then, and he replied that I could say that I couldn't imagine believing anything more strongly than I did; that without doubt, there is no faith. I stopped right there. I paused, and said, "Good point!". Hmmm, faith in a vacuum is meaningless.

Y'see, I realised in that moment in my life, that his lapsed faith had greater depth and reality than my easy certain cheap answers faith. The wrestling with doubt is, actually, essential to faith. What is faith if it is not the triumph over doubt? And doubts will surely come, either fleetingly or sustained. I have read of great heroes of the faith enduring these very struggles with doubt and overcoming - it all sounds so, well, holy, but these people were wondering whether God actually existed or not! True, they came to the conclusion that he did, but in conversation of a Sunday I would be thinking, "Oh, it's a shame that they're a bit weak in their faith!", not, "Oh yes, see the mighty Christian warrior battling against doubt and overcoming!"

I can be driving along in the car on the way to lead the musical worship and find myself thinking, "Oh, come on, how can this all really be true, eh?", but then I remember all that He's done for me and that I "knew" from my earliest memories that He is who He is and that I was, am, and will always be, His.

Faith without doubt cannot exist any more than light without dark.

I am a "New Breed of Thinker"...

2008-04-03T21:40:00.006Z

Well, I thought that was a very good radio programme. But this should not surprise you if you've read this blog before, eh? I was expecting Nigel Lawson to get a mention (he didn't) since his lecture to which I alluded in a previous post , here, is in line with the "Adaptation" (see below) approach.

This half an hour was a breath of very fresh air indeed. I detect a subtle but big shift in media coverage emerging in just the last few months. The view that we should focus entirely on the reduction of the "carbon footprint" simply needs to change. Let's all agree that Climate Change is a reality (although not proven to be anthropogenic in origin). Well, big news everyone, the climate does change over time, and please don't fall into the trap of assuming that correlation necessarily indicates causation. This is lazy thinking.

The two words punctuating the programme were "adaptation" and "mitigation". Our entire emphasis has been, up until now at least, on mitigation. We will save the planet by changing the entire globe's weather systems simply by changing our behaviour. That would be good, wouldn't it? That Man shall control the planet, that Man shall have this power. What we fear the most is our own impotency in this changing physical climate! As stated on the programme, if there were no, that's right, NO CO2 emissions from tomorrow in this country we would still be looking at decades of change.

The poor countries cannot adapt as well as we can, we were told, because they don't have the money to finance schemes such as those in Holland in response to possible sea level increase. Well, let's help them. Again, let's help them? Shall we? This is something that can be done and Nigel Lawson made this point very clear in the lecture linked to above.

OK, enough for now, but I am genuinely encouraged with the changing emphasis in the debate. I watch and wait in anticipation of common sense winning through in the end.

Good night :-)

Is the penny ACTUALLY DROPPING??

2008-04-03T13:06:00.006Z

Let's all listen to Radio 4 tonight at 8:30:

Analysis

The Wrong Road to a Warmer World

Kenan Malik asks whether we are approaching climate change and how to combat it from the wrong direction.

Government ministers and green lobbyists want to reduce global warming by persuading us to take drastic action to reduce our carbon footprint.

But might a better strategy be to accept that climate change is going to happen anyway and to adapt society to meet its challenges? And if so, why is no one talking about it?

This sounds like music to my ears - we shall see! Or hear.

I am jammy...

2008-03-26T18:00:00.003Z

...and so's my wife.

Our eldest (9) has been saying that he's been having trouble reading the board so we decided to get his eyes tested. My beautiful and terrifically busy wife told him that it was to be Leighton's at 4:15 on Tuesday, yesterday.

I'd only got this info from the boy so was after some confirmation from Ali but to no avail - text silence. Hmmm, I was becoming suspicious that a fob off had been performed! Still, towards the end of the school day she said that it was indeed Leighton's at 4:15.

All went well and his glasses may even be here by the weekend.

Now, later last night the truth was revealed. Ali had been blagging!! There was no booking made!! When I texted her to check, Ali had thought "Oops!" and phoned Leighton's just in case...

I should say that we are well used to me being jammy - sometimes it's embarrassing! This time, God did it for her - the lady at Leighton's said...drumroll please...there had been a cancellation for 4:15!

Ha ha, how cool is He??

Swimming...

2008-03-20T15:57:00.005Z

Went swimming again today.

Yes, Neil, locker number 75.

London...

2008-03-20T15:48:00.002Z

...was excellent! About 2,300 people packed into Westminster Central Hall - quite a sight and sound. Alex and I did our duties: he kept the queue (which went twice around the building) safe and I was a doorman in the Great Hall for four hours (ooooh, my aching feet!). Music was great, N T Wright made my brain ache and Mike Pilavachi reminded us that it really is all about Jesus. Well, I think it was Mike Pilavachi, either that or a thin version who sounds similar; he's barely recognisable. I did wonder if he'd been talking to Michael winner recently...

Early start in the morning...

2008-03-14T22:50:00.005Z

Tomorrow Alex and I travel to London to go to the worshipcentral gathering at Westminster Central Hall. 2000 people will gather to sing, pray, learn, eat, mingle and be guided in queues and through doorways by Alex and myself. Can't guarantee to help each and every one of them. Since I (despite Alex's gentle reminders for the past few months...) left it so late that they SOLD OUT I emailed them to see if we could get in by helping - and we can! Hurray! Very pleased to be going (and by being on the team you get in for free!) and looking forward to tomorrow greatly :-)

Routines...

2008-03-13T18:02:00.004Z

I like my routines. I probably need my routines, actually. Some think I'm a little Obsessive Compulsive...

I've started swimming again for several reasons: a) I like it, b) It helps me lose weight, c) I can now go without feeling very uncomfortable due to my size.

Anyway, I went today and I was noticing how I'm , inevitably, building little routines into the trip to the pool. First, I choose a pool. I've tried several with mixed experiences and settled on The Quays in town. I don't ask for much but here the Fast Lane is either empty (so I have the lane to myself) or actually populated by "Fast" swimmers, not people who just wish they were but live in cloud cuckoo land and hold you up. It's pride, isn't it? There's a "Medium" lane - doesn't sound too bad does it? You're Medium. Swim in the Medium lane. Please. OK, the "Slow" lane is definitely for those who wish to keep their hair dry, fair enough...but I digress.

On Tuesday I went for my first Quays visit and drove around for a bit trying to find it, didn't know where the entrance was, didn't know how much to pay or what I needed for a locker, didn't know I could get my parking fee back, didn't know where the Men's changing was or the way into the pool. But I made it into the pool and loved it. Struggled to find my way out of the car park afterwards...

Today, oh it was a different story! Straight there, straight in, got parking off the price, straight into the changing area to the same bench I used on Tuesday, same locker (Number 75), same lane, excellent all round! Straight out of the car park afterwards...

You may be thinking - even the same locker?? Well, as I was saying about routines, I refine a process bit by bit until it works optimally (in my mind) and then I repeat it. Every time. No point being unnecessarily anxious, now, is there? This is true for many things I do, I've noticed, and if it ain't broke, as they say, don't fix it.

My beautiful wife once took the kids to ASDA and turned left upon entering the store . "We can't do that!", they cried, "Daddy ALWAYS turns right..." and it's true. Must turn right, must turn right...

So, before very long I'll be able to do my swim without making any decisions at all. Which is just how I like it.

The story so far...

2008-03-05T22:37:00.015Z

When I was at school I was often called fat. I laughed about it, but what are you supposed to do? It's a defense mechanism when on the inside you're hurting. I wasn't even that big but, especially in school, it doesn't take much. I was not bullied but, for whatever reason(s), this impression of myself has remained ever since.

As an adult, being obsessive it seems to me, has two faces. There is the internal, private one and the external, public one. Since mid December I have lost a lot of weight and, for me, it is a life changing time, and I can hardly believe I've done it. I am glancing in shop windows, catching my reflection and doing a double take - my mind is still stubbornly expecting to see the same old profile that I'd tried to ignore or deny. On the outside I was accepting of it - "Hey, this is the shape God made me!" - but on the inside ever more desperate not to be like I was. I know that unless I am very, very careful I will simply eat too much again. Repeatedly. Yes, unless you're like me you will not understand. Unless you are recognising this mindset in yourself it's just a bit over the top, isn't it? I look at this picture and think, "Yeah. just bring me some ketchup and leave me to it!"

In Winner's book, one of the things that came across to me is the seriousness with which he set his mind to the task. This is not a diet, this is a life or death change of lifestyle. It is that serious. Maybe not for you, but for me and others, quite simply, it is. There is no end, there is no finish line, there is only a behaviour modification that must be lifelong. Managing this approach involves the private and the public. Privately I can do as I please but publicly I need to integrate my eating so as not too make a fuss...

But, the benefits are numerous! Where do I start? I am not disgusted with myself. I am not ashamed of my shape. I am no longer approaching private despair. I carry a message of hope! It can be done! It really can - and by doing less, eating less!

For women, it is easier to discuss weight and eating. For men, well, don't be such a girl! I believe there are a large number of men who feel as I felt, who don't believe they can stop overeating, and I don't want to keep my feelings of victory, freedom, release, choice, increased self-esteem etc. to myself! I want other guys, who want to change, to know that it can be done.

It CAN be done, you CAN do it, and if I can help I will :-)

Lifted from Brian's blog...

2008-03-02T23:35:00.002Z

A break...

2008-02-25T09:52:00.010Z

In 1995 Ali and I were married and we went to the Isle of Wight for our honeymoon. It's a mere 12 and a bit years later and we've just been away together on our own AGAIN! This time we went to Bournemouth to a hotel for two nights and it was marvellous! Big thanks to the Frames for moving into our house and sorting seven kids in our absence...

I must recommend The Starlight curry house to both of you. Faultless! The service was actually fast!* I thought something must be wrong - we ordered, and the food arrived within a few minutes :-O The Chicken Tikka Madras I had was spectacular as well; just shy of my pain threshold, yum.

Who knows, in 2020 we may go somewhere again...

*At the other extreme was the IaMT curry in Southampton recently. I arrived about an hour late, but we were still waiting another hour later for the food to arrive. There were mumblings about going to the Chippy next door for sustenance while we waited. At one point some of the assembled stood up to change places (I think they were actually checking their legs still worked after being motionless for so long...) and the owner burst from the kitchen waving his arms thinking we were leaving having simply given up in despair...

Two of my favourite subjects...

2008-02-18T22:16:00.004Z

Just saw this headline and thought, "Well, here two of my worlds collide!": "Obesity as big a threat as Climate Change"

"Conscious control" definitely describes me and Mr Winner!

I agree that small changes will not be sufficient to affect your weight and shape - a change of lifestyle is needed, albeit exercise, in my case, was not found to be necessary. I have now, however, started swimming and running again (I used to do short triathlons; I am thinking about doing them again...).

And on the subject of Climate Change, I hope you had a look at http://climatedebatedaily.com/ - read it with an open mind.

Obesity is not up for question but Anthropogenic Climate Change most certainly is.

Packhorses...

2008-02-15T09:02:00.004Z

Just got in from the school run (non-uniform day for the girls, oops, will go back shortly with other clothes for them...). I saw a Mum heavy-laden with bags whilst her two boys happily walked alongside her. Why do most Mums do this?? One of our boys went to a friend's house after school yesterday and that Mum even offered to carry his stuff for him! Why?? Make the kids carry their own stuff. It's their stuff and they get used to it quite happily.

Will it be these Mum's who later can't understand why their kids don't do anything for themselves? "Why do I have to do everything around here?" they will cry, "Because you always did!" could be the response...

Pretentious? moi??

2008-02-15T09:01:00.002Z

I just need to say that I had to Google Beethoven to find out who Orpheus actually is.

Phenominal...

2008-02-10T23:57:00.000Z

Just watching "The South Bank Show" - they are profiling an extremely gifted pianist called Lang Lang and, I kid you not, he is one of the most amazing musicians I have ever seen. But, what's struck me is his emotional connection with the music he's playing (let alone his technical brilliance) - he demonstrates Orpheus' pain so very clearly (in the Beethoven) as he plays the notes. He is physically expressing the emotions as he plays. Such a very deep understanding here, quite sublime.

You think the debate is over? Think again...

2008-02-05T10:52:00.000Z

Check out this site: http://climatedebatedaily.com/

I am firmly on the right hand side.

It's official...

2008-02-05T09:49:00.000Z

...I am officially no longer OBESE!
Even the extremely unfair BMI chart confirms that I am now only OVERWEIGHT.
That's good then...

What's in a name...?

2008-02-01T22:30:00.000Z

I was playing golf today with an extremely good friend today at Chilworth. I shall disguise his name, let's call him Dim Sendy (not his real name...). It was his birthday today and in honour of this great day I was enjoying a half corona cigar (Henry Winterman) on the 13th fairway. He looked across at me from the rough before taking his sixth (or so...) shot and said, "You remind me of Hannibal Lecter..." Well, I was taken aback - that's a bit harsh, I thought, "No, hang on", he said, "I mean Hannibal from the A-team!"

What's in a name, eh? Small difference...

One of those days...

2008-01-28T18:09:00.000Z

Today has been one of those days. Now, I'd like to say that I did allow the day to develop, I just don't say, "It's going to be one of those days...", early in the morning 'cos I spilt the coffee. No, don't curse the day!

One of my jobs at Central Hall is to get the talk recorded and get it to the office on Monday; normally this is quite a straightforward task. Well, as straightforward as anything "technical" ever is! I'm also recording a new song and it (was) nearly done. I was given a PC for recording purposes and I prepare the talks on that machine too.

So I import the talk WAV from the H2 (takes ages...) to my Tracktion software as usual and it plays. Once. Then it's silent. I can even see the waveform on the screen but it's making no sound. My song tracks all work fine - on the same screen, on the same software. So I re-import the WAV and again it works once and then goes on strike. OK, restart the PC and begin again with a Normalised (takes absolutely ages on the H2) WAV now and it seems to be better. I chop the track nicely and go for an Export as a WAV as normal. At this point the whole Tracktion screen simply disappears. Uh, this is bad...didn't save the song...hours of work...gone in an instant.

This process of arriving at a point significantly worse off than where I started has taken me until lunchtime.

After huffing and puffing for a bit I resign myself to having to re-record the song (acoustic, bass, vocal, keys, drums...) from scratch and re-do the talk. Humph.

OK, re-restart the PC and...TRACKTION HAS COMPLETELY DISAPPEARED FROM THE COMPUTER AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! Now, I can't even re-record the song! Or redo the talk!

So, at the end of this day I have spent quite a lot of energy getting myself to a point some distance behind where I was when I started.

Here he is...

2008-01-26T09:32:00.001Z

Careful, careful...

2008-01-22T20:21:00.001Z

Time, I think, for another delve into the world of RoSPA. In keeping with my current food OBSESSION let's see how many people injured themselves in a food related way.

OK, on the hassandlass website I'm looking at "Breadbin". Hmmm, can't really see how you hurt yourself here but, hold on a sec, yep, I have the results:
In 2000 there were 71 "Victims" of "Breadbin", in 2001 there were 36 and in 2002 there were 185. BREADBIN?? 185 in 2002 means one person every other day!!

Right, let's check out, hmmmm, "Coffee Grinder". Results:
In 2000 there were none, in 2001 there were 18 and in 2002 none again. That is a BIG peak there in 2002. I can only think that either i) there was a Government awareness campaign after the 2001 epidemic vis a vis the dangers of grinding coffee or ii) everyone started drinking instant (or "Warm Drink of Weetabix" as I call it...). Interesting that the Breadbin is seriously more dangerous than the Coffee Grinder. Thinking about a sandwich or a cuppa? Go for the brew, seriously, your life could depend on it.

Last one. Let's choose, "Serving Tray". What do you reckon? How does this innocent looking piece of equipment compare with the near lethal "Breadbin" and the surprisingly harmless "Coffee Grinder"? Folks, I have to tell you that the humble Serving Tray is a DEATH TRAP!! In 2000 there were 1,419 Victims, in 2001 1,464 and in 2002 1,599! (On the increase, you notice?) HOW??

So, in summary, using advanced techniques of statistical analysis I calculate the following:

a) A Serving Tray is 2.6 times as dangerous as a Breadbin,
b) A Breadbin is 16.2 times as dangerous as a Coffee Grinder, and
c) A Serving Tray is 15.3 times as dangerous as a Breadbin and a wopping 249 times as dangerous as a Coffee Grinder.

I'll stop there.

You have been warned.
Ignorance is no longer an excuse.

(I have just checked back to a post I did on risk, read it here, and a Serving Tray is 2.2 times as dangerous as a Bus Shelter.)

Expressions...

2008-01-18T17:09:00.000Z

Tonight at Central Hall we're having a meeting listed as Creative Prayer. The aim is to explore various expressions of creativity in prayer and worship and whatever else that means. I like to have everything prepared normally so this is something a bit different for me!

I am really keen to help facilitate people's creative expression before God. I know that my most natural expression, singing, is well catered for in our church life but what if your expression is painting? Or sculpting? Or dancing? Or...whatever it is? So we don't have a plan as such, just a few thoughts and we'll see what happens.

It's good to have some space and time for these sorts of expressions of the creativity that God has placed inside us all.

Some of it I will understand and some of it I will not. The picture is an example of "not" :-)

Another bottle...

2008-01-18T09:48:00.000Z

My weight loss is now up to four 2 litre bottles of Diet Coke - WOW! I changed my plan slightly yesterday though as my wife, who's a Doctor, said I needed more protein so it was chicken for lunch! I know that at this stage of my food journey I can start to go a bit over obsessive and begin seeing food as the enemy. This way leads to bigger problems than being overweight! I think this highlights just what a complex thing your relationship with food can be - one season eating to excess, the next eating next to nothing. It can flip right over.

I was once working four nights a week in a factory on a line. I lost weight then by eating nothing but fruit and fibre and swimming one hundred lengths at the pool in the morning after each shift. Lost a lot then too, but this is not exactly sustainable is it??

This time my plan is to have two phases - Phase 1: Achieve an acceptable weight, and Phase 2: Maintain that weight.

Phase 1 is going well but I do have to be careful not to lose a healthy perspective on it.

I'm hopeful that Phase 2 will be sustainable.

Phew...!

2008-01-14T09:14:00.000Z

A new low this morning! I was ruthless yesterday and have reaped the benefit this morning. I remember in Winner's book he has the same experience several times of eating just a bit too much and then feeling the annoyance the next day as the numbers tell the story. For me, this is one of the reasons weighing night and day is crucial - I can keep in touch with what's happening day by day and respond as necessary.

Yes, it is obsessive. BUT if I am serious about being slimmer then it is the only way. I'm 38 and this is (was??) the decade where I can really make a difference to later life healthwise. Without this sort of approach I would go gently into that good night of obesity, and all that it brings.

Rage, rage against the widening of the waist!

Just how careful I have to be...

2008-01-13T17:06:00.000Z

Went out for Chinese last night (a birthday...) and, boy, that's been a wake up call! Big spike in my bar chart, seriously not happy about this. Felt like lots of good work was gone in a flash. Simply ATE TOO MUCH. I have to remember that, given the opportunity, I will overeat, every time. I am a Compulsive Overeater. If you are not like this it's difficult to explain.

So, it is a setback but I shall have my victory! In a couple of weeks it'll be a blip on my chart and a lesson learned.

A new man...

2008-01-10T18:07:00.000Z

...I am a new man! I played golf today and the contrast with my last game was amazing. Before I lost some weight I was struggling around the course and after nine holes I went home exhausted. Played poorly too. Today I could have carried on after 18 easily (although the weather won just before that...) and the trousers I bought to wear for golf when I was at my largest.....are now too big!! GLORY GLORY!! And I played quite well too, very encouraging :-)

I have now lost more than the weight of three 2 litre bottles of Coke and this since late November. (Well, Diet Coke, in fact...)

I'm starting to think that this way of eating is conceivably sustainable. If so, this is a huge step forward for me. I won't be cured, but I can manage myself so that I eat what I need and not the amount I want. Being slimmer is much more tasty than loads and loads of food.

Thanks again Michael Winner.

(I just read the previous post and the result of the two meals was my spreadsheet weight bar chart levelled off for a couple of days, but I've caught up now, hurray! I did go easy on the first one which was veeeeeeeeeeeery hard but "relaxed" a bit on the second one. YUM!)

Easy does it!

2008-01-04T18:45:00.000Z

Hmmm, it doesn't take much to stop the flow of weight from my body! I'm maintaining my loss just about but I'm being forced to eat curry for the second night on the trot. Mmmmmm, nice. Last night we went out for an IaMT night and tonight friends are bringing one over. Reminds me of Michael Winner when he describes when he's going to be tempted most to eat and eat.

Never fear! I shall catch up and begin shrinking again tomorrow :-)

The incredible shrinking man...

2007-12-31T13:56:00.000Z

Since following Michael Winner's advice I have lost 5kg!!!!!!!!!! This is super-great, and I have already got back into my bike leathers :-)

I just put 5kg of Diet Coke and vegetable oil (2 x 2 litres Coke and 1 litre of oil which is close enough) into a carrier bag (in the bottles, not poured in...) and the weight of it is amazing! Have I lost this much already?? Yes I have.

I haven't stopped eating anything or exercised (although I know I should anyway...). I eat a lot less and, most importantly I think, eat little in the evenings and nothing after 6:30 if possible.

According to the Body Mass Index chart* I should be about 10 and 1/2 stone which is 66.7kg. HA HA VERY FUNNY!!

My wife reckons 80kg should be about right for me - in this case I am already half way there - excellent :-)

So here's to next year and a thinner me - I shall continue to blog as long as I don't disappear altogether.

* The Body Mass Index chart is an officially sanctioned instrument of despair which will, if you are a wider person, rob you of what little hope you had of reaching an "acceptable" weight. Do not take much notice of it unless you are the one person in the world for whom it was designed. And even he/she should try not to get too down about it.

Brainlock.

2007-12-22T21:02:00.000Z

Walking back from the shop the other day I had a moment of deep wonder. It was dusk and the moon was up - I thought, "So that's a planet. And we're on another planet. So how does that all work then?"

I remember as a kid lying in my bed and imagining moving outwards (if even that makes any sense) through space and wondering where the edge was. But if you got there and then went a bit further...............

Re the picture:
"Representing a narrow "keyhole" view stretching to the visible horizon of the universe, the Hubble Deep Field image covers a speck of the sky only about the width of a dime 75 feet away. Though the field is a very small sample of the heavens, it is considered representative of the typical distribution of galaxies in space, because the universe, statistically, looks largely the same in all directions. Gazing into this small field, Hubble uncovered a bewildering assortment of at least 1,500 galaxies at various stages of evolution."

Do you know how big even one galaxy is? The average Galaxy has, wait for it, 100-200 billion Stars most similar to our Sun. Erm, nope, sorry, cannot fathom this.

So, 1500 Galaxies in a part of the sky covered by a dime at 75 feet away and each of the 1500 Galaxies contain 100-200 billion Stars like the Sun?

WWWHHHHHHAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT??????

Look at what HE made!

I do make myself chuckle...

2007-12-21T23:10:00.000Z

Went to Sainsbury's today and when I paid the checkout lady asked me, "Have you got Nectar?", "No", I replied, "It's just a bit of a cold..."

Lovely logic...

2007-12-19T18:47:00.000Z

Just heard a comedienne on Radio 4. Her Mum writes her about a Council Tax leaflet that's come through the door. It says that if you're in prison you don't have to pay the Council Tax. If, however, you are in prison for non-payment of Council Tax, you do have to pay the Council Tax.

I love things like this!

More on Mr Winner...

2007-12-18T23:27:00.000Z

My beautiful wife, Ali, went to London for the weekend with her sister to do the Christmas shopping (bah, humbug...) and brought me back a present: Michael Winner's book: "Fat Pig Diet", and I am genuinely pleased she did. While she was in London he was doing a signing, so my wonderful wife queued up and got one signed for me. He said (as verbatim as I can make it), "You don't look like you need one of these?", she said, "It's for my husband...", he said, "Is he fat?", she said, "Well, he does struggle with it a bit..."

It's been about a week and it is indeed working. His two main rules are: EAT LESS and don't eat after 7:30pm. I am losing weight and it's not painful so far. One of the keys is to weigh yourself last thing at night and first thing in the morning. This is crucial for motivation as you don't see the visible evidence of progress but the numbers don't lie.

Being a bit gadgety I am logging my weight on a spreadsheet on my phone to chart my progress and it looks GOOD!

Another motivation is to get back into my bike leathers. I was recounting this to Billy earlier today and he said that lard is the answer. I said lard was the problem :-)

One step forward...

2007-11-30T19:27:00.000Z

This morning I successfully put up two new light fittings and later two dimmer switches to match - excellent!

I am, however, typing this on my laptop as I've broken the desktop I normally use. I broke it putting the lights up. How, you ask? Well, under our stairs is the trip switch board for the electrics but there's no light to see what you're doing. I had to try each switch until the lights went out and one of the first ones turned off the supply to the PC. Oops. Now it won't boot up "properly" but will operate in Safe mode (Yes, I have tried System Restore but to no avail...). If it wasn't for this laptop I would be disconnected!!!

The lights look nice, though.

(Oh, and if you know how to fix the PC.....??)

Neeeeeeeeeoooooooowwwwwwwwww......

2007-11-28T20:28:00.000Z

We have our bike (Kwak ZZR600) back on the road! I am very excited about this as riding a motorbike is one of life's very special joys for me. It is sooo fast! It's been SORNed for months as it broke it's own brake lever (by having a little lie down on a hot day on our front garden...) and electronically immobilised itself due to circuit board corrosion.
0-60 in about three and a half seconds - it's FANTASTIC!

I did my Direct Access about three years ago, and I tell you, when the examiner (very nice bloke, rode an R1) told me that I'd passed I nearly cried on the spot, seriously, I was that happy.

The novelty doesn't wear off, although I did a track day at Silverstone and that nearly made me give up riding on the roads. I experienced another reality that day - quite incredible! Nearly cried that day too when I arrived and heard, smelt, felt the bikes getting ready. Ah, yes. I think it's in you or it just aint. Part of me is indeed a "Biker".

Which reminds me of something I saw from my kitchen one day...

2007-11-24T09:41:00.000Z

I watched an interesting vignette being played out just now. A Robin had flown through our outer back door and was struggling to find its way out again. It kept flying into the glass windows but wasn't finding the open door. As I drank my coffee and wondered how to help it I saw Socks, one of our cats, leap up and almost catch the Robin. This attack forced the Robin to fly the other way and...out the door!

There must be some sort of sermony-type message there...come on...think...I know:

"Sometimes in life it takes an unpleasant situation to force us in a direction that leads to true freedom."

Nice!

Calm down, dear......

2007-11-23T16:53:00.000Z

I actually went on our running machine today (whilst listening to Mark Driscoll from Mars Hill). I am too fat and uncomfortable with it. I've blogged about eating and weight before so forgive me if it all sounds a bit familiar!

Michael Winner has recently lost a lot of weight and written a book, The Fat Pig Diet, and I've heard him talk about it a few times. The key is (drumroll...) to eat less. Not rocket science, is it? So why do I persist in eating too much? Well, it's the mind isn't it? I eat to celebrate, I eat to commiserate, I eat for comfort, I eat out of boredom, I eat simply for the pleasure, I eat to escape...

When was the last time I ate because I was actually hungry??
Can't remember.

I did start going to a group for compulsive over eaters and it was very helpful - it made a real difference to me as the aim is to get to grips with the reasons we eat, not what you weigh or should weigh. Then I thought I had it sorted and stopped going. Hmmm...

The problem with weight loss programs (with which I have enjoyed great success in the past) is that they in no way address the reasons for compulsive eating. It's treating the symptom not the underlying cause. Consequently, you reach your target and go out and celebrate with a great big meal!!

This is a much bigger (no pun intended) problem for men than most would think - it's hidden.

It can, of course lead to a vicious circle: I find myself with feelings of shame about my size so I eat for comfort which makes me bigger which makes me feel shame so I eat for comfort...

What I want, is to change inside so that instead of turning to food I turn to Jesus to supply my needs. I did just write a song about that...

So, Michael Winner, I salute you, for you have got me onto the running machine again and thinking about eating less.

Buses...

2007-11-21T10:58:00.000Z

Nice to see that Sim has interrupted his hectic schedule to actually post on his Blog again - it does seem to be like buses with him though, nothing for ages and then loads all at once :-)

(Ballet can be confusing, but finding the right seat isn't supposed to be...)

This also made me laugh...

2007-11-21T10:30:00.000Z

So the Association of Chief Police Officers have changed their collective mind about the reclassification of Cannabis, eh?

I heard on Radio 4 that they now believe that the downgrading of the drug a few years ago is, "Sending out the wrong message."

Well, DUH!

I suppose they have to ask...

2007-11-17T18:15:00.000Z

So I'm at the checkout with my five, yes five, items on the belt.
The checkout lady asks me, "Would you like any help with your packing?"
I pause, then say, "I'll have a go, and if I get stuck, we'll call for help."
If looks could kill...

These make me laugh...

2007-11-17T11:14:00.000Z

I know there are quite a lot of these but, for me, they have a cumulative comedic effect...

"Do not use if you cannot see clearly to read the information in the information booklet." -- In the information booklet.
"Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish." -- On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.
"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron.
"Warning: This product can burn eyes." -- On a curling iron.
"Do not use in shower." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer.
"Do not use while sleeping or unconscious." -- On a hand-held massaging device.
"Do not place this product into any electronic equipment." -- On the case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
"Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking." -- On a toilet at a public sports facility in Ann Arbor, Michigan.
"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.
"This product not intended for use as a dental drill." -- On an electric rotary tool.
"Caution: Do not spray in eyes." -- On a container of underarm deodorant.
"Do not drive with sunshield in place." -- On a cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard.
"Caution: This is not a safety protective device." -- On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.
"Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks." -- On an "Aim-n-Flame" fireplace lighter.
"Battery may explore or leak." -- On a battery. See a scanned image.
"Do not eat toner." -- On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.
"Not intended for highway use." -- On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.
"This product is not to be used in bathrooms." -- On a Holmes bathroom heater.
"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray.
"Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth." -- On a novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock."
"Caution! Contents hot!" -- On a Domino's Pizza box.
"Caution: Hot beverages are hot!" -- On a coffee cup.
"Warning: May contain small parts." -- On a frisbee.
"Do not use orally." -- On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.
"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife.
"Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less." -- On a birthday card for a 1 year old.
"Do not recharge, put in backwards, or use." -- On a battery.
"Warning: Do not use on eyes." -- In the manual for a heated seat cushion.
"Do not look into laser with remaining eye." -- On a laser pointer.
"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven.
"For use on animals only." -- On an electric cattle prod.
"For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Keep out of reach of children and teenagers." -- On a can of air freshener.
"Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you." -- On a motorcycle helmet-mounted rear-view mirror.
"Warning: Riders of personal watercraft may suffer injury due to the forceful injection of water into body cavities either by falling into the water or while mounting the craft." -- In the manual for a jetski.
"Warning: Do not climb inside this bag and zip it up. Doing so will cause injury and death." -- A label inside a protective bag (for fragile objects), which measures 15cm by 15cm by 12cm.
"Do not use as ear plugs." -- On a package of silly putty.
"Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator." -- On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.
"Warning: knives are sharp!" -- On the packaging of a sharpening stone.
"Not for weight control." -- On a pack of Breath Savers.
"Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth." -- On the label of a bottled drink.
"Theft of this container is a crime." -- On a milk crate.
"Do not use intimately." -- On a tube of deodorant.
"Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice." -- On a box of rat poison.
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757.
"Cannot be made non-poisonous." -- On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.
"Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage." -- On a portable stroller.
"Excessive dust may be irritating to shin and eyes." -- On a tube of agarose powder, used to make gels.
"Look before driving." -- On the dash board of a mail truck.
"Do not iron clothes on body." -- On packaging for a Rowenta iron.
"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine.
"For indoor or outdoor use only." -- On a string of Christmas lights.
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." -- On a child sized Superman costume.
"This door is alarmed from 7:00pm - 7:00am." -- On a hospital's outside access door.
"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station.
"Warning: do not use if you have prostate problems." -- On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.
"Product will be hot after heating." -- On a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not turn upside down." -- On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.
"Do not light in face. Do not expose to flame." -- On a lighter.
"Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball." -- On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.
"Not for human consumption." -- On a package of dice.
"May be harmful if swallowed." -- On a shipment of hammers.
"Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your old pots may void your warranty." -- A printed message that appears in a television advertisement when the presenter demonstrates how strong the cookware is by using it to beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.
"Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand." -- In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.
"Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers." -- From a manual for an SGI computer.
"Warning: May contain nuts." -- On a package of peanuts.
"Do not eat." -- On a slip of paper in a stereo box, referring to the styrofoam packing.
"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal.
"Remove occupants from the stroller before folding it."
"Access hole only -- not intended for use in lifting box." -- On the sides of a shipping carton, just above cut-out openings which one would assume were handholds.
"Warning: May cause drowsiness." -- On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.
"Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death." -- Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.
"Do not use orally after using rectally." -- In the instructions for an electric thermometer.
"Turn off motor before using this product." -- On the packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
"Not to be used as a personal flotation device." -- On a 6x10 inch inflatable picture frame.
"Do not put in mouth." -- On a box of bottle rockets.
"Remove plastic before eating." -- On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.
"Not dishwasher safe." -- On a remote control for a TV.
"For lifting purposes only." -- On the box for a car jack.
"Do not put lit candles on phone." -- On the instructions for a cordless phone.
"Warning! This is not underwear! Do not attempt to put in pants." -- On the packaging for a wristwatch.

So it's late...

2007-11-16T00:51:00.000Z

...at 12:52 at night right now. I've finished watching CSI, my wife has fallen asleep before the TV (again!) and I've been upstairs to prepare the way for our ascent to bed. Our two girls were asleep in our bed when I came home, now it was one and I carried her to her room; she, half asleep, still smiles at me and giggles. When I came in from Central Hall at about 9:30 they were both asleep there and how beautiful they looked. The youngest had since put herself to bed. The eldest boy was still awake and I tucked him in, the younger boy out for the count.

I am the only one awake now. It's quiet, but we are still all here. I feel it. When we're all awake...well, let's just say four kids can be demanding. Times like this, I think, WOW!, look what we made - look what God gave us! Look what he gave me! God has never been fair to me - he seems to give me all the good stuff.

Now it's 1:03 in the morning. A pause for thought. Then blessed sleep...

Different every time...

2007-11-15T10:56:00.000Z

I'm recording in my room a new song and it's one of the frustrating ones. The song processes are different every time - in the writing and the recording. I like this as I don't do well with repetition. I don't do well with repetition. (Sorry, couldn't resist...)

Sometimes I write a song and it almost falls out, as if it was there all the time and I just had to play it. Others are as if I'm chiselling away, making slow progress, hitting my thumb with the hammer, but I get there in the end. Some take minutes and some take months.

Then there's the recording; it's the same story. With some, one vocal take and I'm happy with it - excellent! Other times I feel like giving up. (It's even more annoying when I'm struggling to sing something, to my satisfaction, that I wrote myself...). OK, this take, nope, maybe this one? Nope. Sigh.

A point comes where I say, "OK, this is going to have to do..." and I stop. I am nearly at that point with this one. I also know that I'm a perfectionist and generally no-one notices what I notice anyway...

Right, back to the other corner of the room I go.

Life's little suprises (or not actually)...

2007-11-10T19:36:00.000Z

A note to our four children:

To the best of my knowledge, it has still not been made illegal to FLUSH THE TOILET AFTER A POO!!!!!!

And so it darkens...but...

2007-11-07T21:33:00.000Z

...I have been noticing the trees this year and the colours they make - amazing! Plus, it's been bright each day so far so it's not felt gloomy at all and I am surprised at my bonhomie. I remember one year not long ago and it seemed like from November to January it rained and rained and rained and rained... And we lived too close to the school not to walk every day so we got wet every day.

Now, sadly, we live too far from the school to walk so we are forced to drive every day. Ah well.

Anyway, God does seem to be doing a particularly good Autumn this year.

Hmmm...

2007-10-31T16:56:00.001Z

Why is there only one Competition Commission?

And so it darkens...

2007-10-24T16:41:00.000Z

Each year about this time it starts getting darker earlier and gets light later. I don't like it, it can make me gloomy. A mild case of Seasonal Affective Disorder maybe. I have a light next to the bed that comes on gradually in the mornings to make my brain think the Sun's coming up achieving full brightness as the alarm goes off (negating any feelings of well being instantly...). My wife says it's made a huge difference - we've had the light a few years now, and she's the expert on my demeanour!

I think of Spring already with anticipation. And its only October.

So, if you should see me wearing some sort of miner's lamp pointing a brightly shining full spectrum bulb at my face, you'll know why. Humph.

(Oh, in this room I do have a full spectrum bulb - the photos show the effect it has on my mood.)

Flintstones Winston Cigarette TV Commercial - 1962

2007-10-18T16:38:00.001Z

Ah, happy days!!

OK, I give up.

2007-10-13T21:22:00.000Z

Nobel Peace Prize? Al Gore??? Words fail me. It's now too late for sensible discussion so I think I'll stop blogging about climate change. I have lost the will...

An inconvenient hyperbole...

2007-10-11T08:41:00.000Z

Hurray and hurrah! A Judge has pointed out "errors" in Al Gore's film, "An inconvenient truth". At last!

From the paper today the errors include:

· The film claimed that low-lying inhabited Pacific atolls "are being inundated because of anthropogenic global warming" - but there was no evidence of any evacuation occurring

· It spoke of global warming "shutting down the ocean conveyor" - the process by which the gulf stream is carried over the north Atlantic to western Europe. The judge said that, according to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, it was "very unlikely" that the conveyor would shut down in the future, though it might slow down

· Mr Gore had also claimed - by ridiculing the opposite view - that two graphs, one plotting a rise in C02 and the other the rise in temperature over a period of 650,000 years, showed "an exact fit". The judge said although scientists agreed there was a connection, "the two graphs do not establish what Mr Gore asserts"

· Mr Gore said the disappearance of snow on Mt Kilimanjaro was expressly attributable to human-induced climate change. The judge said the consensus was that that could not be established

· The drying up of Lake Chad was used as an example of global warming. The judge said: "It is apparently considered to be more likely to result from ... population increase, over-grazing and regional climate variability"

· Mr Gore ascribed Hurricane Katrina to global warming, but there was "insufficient evidence to show that"

· Mr Gore also referred to a study showing that polar bears were being found that had drowned "swimming long distances to find the ice". The judge said: "The only scientific study that either side before me can find is one which indicates that four polar bears have recently been found drowned because of a storm"

· The film said that coral reefs all over the world were bleaching because of global warming and other factors. The judge said separating the impacts of stresses due to climate change from other stresses, such as over-fishing, and pollution, was difficult"

These are not minor points - Al Gore used these "errors" to give hugely powerful but unproven impressions of the situation. How many times have we seen footage of Katrina embedded in pieces about Global Warming? Many. The viewer is being conned (not even that cleverly) by the film makers.

At least now a Judge has flagged up the great bias in this film.

(I gotta say, the Polar Bears one is simply fantastic! Did he just make it up? Think folks, every time you start that car, another bear drowns!!!!!!!)

Big Day For Me Today :-)

2007-10-08T19:54:00.001Z

Today was the day that our youngest of our four kids went to school for THE WHOLE DAY!!! It's been sooooooooooo many weeks since the start of term. First she had two and a half hours on a Friday. Then the next week off. Then a week of mornings but not lunch (Apart from the Monday when the reception staff had a training day (?)). Then a week of mornings with lunch. Then, ta ta da daaaaaaaaaaaaaa FULL TIME SCHOOLING. I was starting to think she'd be in Year 3 before it happened. Still, we are now there and it feels grrrrrrrrrrrrrrreat! My next life season has officially begun...

(I try to get through the school year without reading any letters. Hence I took the boys down to school at the start of term and their school was shut. I also took our youngest down on that day her Year was shut too. I make my bed...)

Nice one...

2007-09-24T08:27:00.000Z

Just listening to a Radio 4 program about Dr Samuel Johnson. In Googling for a picture of him I came across a detail of his original dictionary and it made me smile:

OATS. n. f. [Saxon] A grain, which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people.

(Oh, my wife is semi Scottish by the way and hence I hold the brave battling Scots in far higher esteem than did Dr Johnson, it would appear.)

Thanks for that...

2007-09-21T09:22:00.000Z

I posted a parcel this morning. I asked the lady what my options were and she said that First Class would be five pounds and Parcel Force would be four pounds ninety five.

"What's the difference?", I asked.
"5p", she said.

Still chuckling...

2007-09-19T10:06:00.000Z

The other day on Radio 4 I heard part of a comedy. One of the characters was bemoaning the dilution of the English language with French phrases and he said something like this:

"I don't know, it's precisely that sort of laissez faire attitude that's bringing into question the very raison d'etre of the English language."

Love it :-)

Curse of the Golden Flower

2007-09-07T23:12:00.000Z

I just finished watching the above film and, WOW!! My eyes popped and my jaw dropped increasingly as this film unfolded - how do they make films like this?? "Visually stunning" is spot on here, I mean, it seemed that every scene was a work of art, really!

What struck me powerfully was the sheer grandeur in which the Emperor and the royals lived. Forget your Buckingham Palace, no, no , no, I saw no Tupperware here my friends, this was ridiculous. Clothes made entirely of gold, incredible carpets everywhere, walls covered in the finest work, servants instantly available to tend to the every need, thousands of soldiers ready and pleased to die at the snap of the fingers - and yet...

...and yet it made me think of Solomon "in all his glory". The Queen of Sheba pitched up with, what she must have thought, an impressive selection of gifts and demonstrations of wealth but even she was "overwhelmed". 1 Kings 10 tells the story and goes on to describe, in part, his incredible wealth. God prospered Solomon to such an extent because, when in a dream, God asked him what was the thing he most desired, he asked for wisdom, "That I may discern between good and bad". As long as Solomon kept the true faith he would be the wisest and the richest in all the world. We know it didn't last, of course, and Solomon turned away from God in the end.

What's my point? Well, these things are so impressive but don't mean much to God. God's economy is about love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. These are the fruit of the Spirit.

To quote a kids' song: "Man looks on the outside, but God looks on the heart."

Carbon-offsetting: the rich and the poor...

2007-09-07T22:59:00.000Z

A website I visit quite regularly is Arts & Letters Daily. I found this on my path as a Homedad needing something to keep my brain ticking over - it's a fantastic site, have a look!

Yesterday before bed I checked it out and found an article on carbon-offsetting - go on, read it, it's veeeeery interesting.

The neat point it makes is that it can only work as long as the third world poor remain poor. Think about it. If they all become as "developed" as us, whom will we pay to make up for our rich lifestyles, eh? Yes, indeed.

Well, I have the answer. Calculate how much CO2 you're putting into the atmosphere (through doing the ironing, or whatever...), work out your "offsetting cost", give me the cash and I'll tell you it doesn't make any difference to climate change anyway. You will sleep better at night, your conscience clear.

Golf clubs and exam grades...

2007-08-23T08:54:00.000Z

The latest 5 iron will hit the ball further than a 5 iron of a few years ago. This is mainly because the modern day 5 iron has an equivalent loft of a 4 iron of bygone years. Why? Well, each year the manufacturers need to "improve" on their last year's model and, to most golfers, this means more distance. So, after the technological advances have plateaued all that's left is to "strengthen" the loft and make the golfer think he's hitting the ball further with your clubs. Your 5 iron hits as far as the old 4 iron, so it must be better. Clever, right? Nope. Cos now you don't have enough clubs at the short end - the wedges. Now you need to buy a "Gap" wedge (or wedges...) as the clubs have all shifted. All that's happened is the clubs have been renumbered to make us all feel better and to maintain our faith in the, apparent, never ending improvement in golf club performance.

So, to GCSE grades. Years ago, exams were "normally" assessed - such and such a percentage of candidates got As, such and such Bs etc. The problem politically is that, by definition, the percentage of, say, Cs won't change from year to year so how do we show we are getting better each year? So out went O levels and "criterion" assessment GCSEs arrived. Now, a certain mark will get you a certain grade, no matter how many candidates achieve that mark. Politically, we are able to see whether results are improving year after year - and do you know what? They are! Children are actually getting cleverer every single year, amazing! Fantastic! Yeah, as in "fantasy". So we have to have a new grade of A* as the "top" is too crowded - hello?? What happened to the Bell Shaped Curve? I imagine it's still right there, actually. It's a similar story with A levels, they're introducing an A* there too for the same reason and Universities are having to employ their own exams to differentiate between all the hopeful candidates with 17 or so A grades each.

Why do we think that everything must improve all the time? In reality, things tend to stay the same - whether it's the distances we hit golf balls or the distribution of "intelligence" amongst the population. When things won't improve we make them: adjust the lofts and appear to hit the ball further, and adjust the exams and appear to improve academic attainment. Genius.

Here's my prediction for the future:
1) A set of golf irons consisting: wedge 10, wedge 9, wedge 8, wedge 7, wedge 6, wedge 5, wedge 4, wedge 3, wedge 2 and wedge 1.
2) A range of exam grades consisting: A*******, A******, A*****, A****, A***, A** and A*.

The power of imagination...

2007-08-14T14:34:00.000Z

School "holidays".
Humph.
Our eldest (9) is bored.
He just appeared at my door holding a blue strip of wood as tall as him, "I've found something to play with!", he exclaimed excitedly.
"Ah!", I said, "What is it?"
"A stick." he said,
"So, what's it going to be?", I asked,
"A stick." he said.

I am not a hairy man but...

2007-08-13T10:04:00.000Z

Getting older is very interesting, I think. I'm 38 and I feel 38. Never quite understand when people say, "Inside I'm still an 18 year old..." - some sort of denial?

Anyway, to the title. I have started noticing unexplained rogue hair growth. This is just one of those things that happen as you age. I HOPE. First I noticed that my eyebrows had sprouted a couple of long hairs each, with a mind of their own, shunning the crowd and launching off to go their own way. So, what do you do? Tricky one this, but I had to pluck them out. I am having to pluck my eyebrows. This is not to reshape them, you understand, but simply to keep them under control.

Actually, upon further recollection, it was my nose that first gave the game away and my brother saying, "There's no excuse for that..." Male grooming gadgets, oh dear. I have electric nose hair clippers. There, I said it. (Warning, don't use these for eyebrows - one slip and you can end up looking a little, erm, "street"?)

Just the other day I also spied a mutant long hair on my wrist - what's next, the palms of my hands??

Ah well, one should accept these changes graciously. I still have all my own teeth, you know...but, now then, where did I leave them...?

I'm clever I am.

2007-08-07T17:37:00.000Z

When we moved here I found this house name sign - for weeks I was wondering who Stann was and why the house was named after him....

And again...

2007-07-23T08:26:00.000Z

NewScientist, 21st July 2007

(Article, "Global Shades" opening sentence.)

"Even with the best will in the world, reducing our carbon emissions is not going to prevent global warming."

Exactly right - this article brings to mind Nigel Lawson's lecture to the Centre for Policy Studies in late 2006 about which I blogged here.

Lawson summarises his lecture thus:

"Essentially, I have sought to argue three key propositions.

First, the relatively new and highly complex science of climatology is an uncertain one, and neither scientists nor politicians serve either the truth or the people by pretending to know more than they do.

Second, far and away the most rational response to such climate change as, for any reason, may occur, is to adapt to it.

And third, the rich countries of the temperate world have an obligation to assist the poor countries of the tropical world to undertake whatever adaptation may be needed."

There exists limited time, energy and money. Why are we continuing to waste (huge amounts of) these in trying to stop something that can't be, when we could be using them helping those likely to be most affected?

24-7 Ibiza Summer 2006

2007-07-12T15:03:00.001Z

See what these guys do - you get a much clearer impression with a video. Brian spoke at Church, you can listen here - he's the one sunning himself.

Meritocracy? Not good enough.

2007-07-09T09:27:00.000Z

If you have the ability, you should get your chance - Does this sum up the meritocratic aim? Probably. Been thinking about the Paul Potts video clip posted below and what's been troubling me is this: The guy shambles onto the stage and we all dismiss him. I mean, look at him! Stop wasting our time. He has no merit. So far. Then, he sings and now the "truth" is revealed - he can sing, really sing, he has merit, he has worth, now we love him, we really love him!! Why? Because he has given something to us. He has moved us. He is now useful to us. It's less about him, than us.

The same man walked onto the stage as walked off. Now we love him. What if he'd opened his mouth and confirmed our assumptions? Now we don't love him. Now we pity him and send him away.

You see my point? Meritocracy, forgive me, is dependent on perceived merit. Meritocracy can be brutal. What about those without perceived merit?

Jesus went to those without "merit" didn't he? Not for him a meritocracy. God's Kingdom is not like this because God is not impressed with "merit" but sees through to the heart.

God's Kingdom is about grace.

What grace would Paul Potts have been shown if he hadn't been able to sing?