I commit to...erm...

I've started having monthly gatherings for the musicians and techies (MUSOTECH) who serve the Sunday gatherings at Central Hall. We've had two now, and I'm excited about what we've started. I am not a natural gatherer but have realised how important these times are for getting to know each other and having all of those small conversations that make such a difference to "team". I think it's called face time in management speak.

I prepare the recordings of the talks at Central Hall for the website - now, I could email in the MP3 and stay at home but I choose to take it in because I usually have a few conversations with people "oh, as you're here...", and I've connected. I like these interactions, it's part of belonging.

We feel like we belong when we commit ourselves to something, when we are prepared to put ourselves out for a group or cause at a cost. So it is that we are working towards a sign up sheet (or something) for the musos and techies outlining that to which we are actually committing ourselves. My thoughts, so far, are that we do an annual sign up, probably following the academic year. People commit for a specific time, not a vague "this could be a week or the rest of my life" type thing. Each person then gets a chance, annually, to recommit or take time out.

Looking over a range of other churches' versions of this I've picked up on three main areas of commitment:
1) Personal spirituality: be following Jesus...
2) Commitment to church body: other areas of service, small group membership, Sunday attendance..., and
3) Practical considerations: punctuality, availability, practice, gear, prompt email responses...

The examples I brought spanned a wide range from very specific to quite vague. I'm hoping we'll arrive at something that is not prohibitive but does, nonetheless, require a step of commitment from the person wanting to be a part of the team.

I think we'll enjoy a greater sense of belonging and team when we all know the framework within which we are corporately operating and what our reasonable expectations are of each other.

We shall see!

I am clearly not a gorilla...

So I went to Go Ape as I'd said to my beautiful and generous wife that it looked fun to do and that I'd like to have a go. Me, who gets vertigo standing on a dining room chair changing a light bulb, yeah right! Anyway, she booked me and our lodger in and off we went. Oh, I was being so brave during the safety talk; yeah, whatever, just let me loose!

And then, we went up. And so followed getting on for three hours of terror! There are four sections - between each you get to plant foot on terra firma and after two I was ready to pack it in. But I knew that I would be kicking myself if I didn't force myself to do it (sounds like that triathlon hill, doesn't it? Oh, foolish pride...) and do all the most difficult options (Black - most "extreme", ooh lummy...). What doesn't help is when your brother-in-law and two nephews have already been round, done all the Black routes and are looking up at you. Grinning. Go on, Uncle Mark! So I had to prove myself (...and all our kids were watching. They were very impressed...).

Well, I got to the end, but I did experience a few moments of near panic and was so glad to get to the finish. I got a certificate! And a sticker! I'm really glad I did it, but once is enough. Last night I dreamt I was hanging off the edge of a high building...

Our lodger was throwing himself off backwards and upside down - no fear whatsoever, I don't understand...and he was shaking tree I was standing on, I forgive him...

It would be easy to do a bit about being afraid but pushing on knowing that ultimately you cannot fall, but hey, you can do that bit for yourself. Bed for me soon, and more dreaming about falling from a great height. Super.

If it 'aint broke...

We all enjoy a love hate relationship with computers, don't we? (OK you Mac users, for you just a love love relationship...ahh, sweet!) Today the "special tool" (hammer to you) was nearly used on my music PC but I'm typing on it now, so clearly it lived to see another day.

So my PC's working just fine but I think that a newer webcam would be better than the one I have (fruit of a frustrating attempt to have a video skype chat with someone), so it's off to ebay and a Logitech Fusion now sits atop my monitor - I took the photo with it. But, I did spend a lot of the day getting the computer back to how it was in the morning! If it ain't broke as they say...

So I install the new(er) webcam and find that now my soundcard and ethernet card don't work. No sound, no web. Call me Mr Picky, but this is definately worse than before, not better. Better had been my intention.

A friend commented (as I was keeping everyone up to date on my progress via Facebook) that people who go to Macs just can't take the pain of these things happening, and that I should be a man and fix it. And you know, I do feel great having fixed the problem I didn't want to have in the first place. If nothing had gone wrong I wouldn't be feeling as triumphant as I am now!

There's something in this. Given the choice, I'd probably rather avoid all problems and the associated frustrations, but then I wouldn't have those moments of, "YES! LOOK GOD, WE DID IT!", would I? The need to solve problems seems to be built in but so, it also seems, is the desire to avoid them.

The good news, folks, is that we probably don't need to be seeking out problems to keep us sharp, they will come anyway. Especially if you have a PC, not a Mac.

Now, it's Ctrl+Alt+Delete isn't it...??

Early morning prayer...

Yesterday I awoke to the sound of Radio 4 at about 7am, and promptly began my regular Sunday morning prayer session. This is something I have found easy to apply myself to and, in fact, have found it a very natural thing to do first thing on a Sunday morning before leading the musical worship at the meeting. It is, after all, the Lord's day.

In case you'd like to learn it, it goes like this:
"Oooooooohhhhh Looooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrd, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase don't let this be what I think it is. Pleeeeeeeeeaase let this be a dream. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease can I STAY IN BED???? Amen?"

Ha ha! And I MEAN it too! I am absolutely not a morning person (ask my wife...no, actually, don't...) and that's with the SAD light that lights up before I do.***

In these moments of purity I do remember, however, that later I will be glad I got up and dragged myself to Central Hall. And so it was yesterday - what a wonderful time we had! I don't say this to honour myself, but to honour God. I point out my regular prayer session lest you imagine that I am any more than flesh, blood and willing spirit! But God. But God. But God.

His presence was tangible, it is one I will remember.

The rhythm of God is always there. Sometimes we hear it, sometimes we don't. It had no beginning and it has no end. Sometimes we hear it, sometimes we don't.

Yesterday I think we we heard it :-)


*** Seasonal Affective Disorder: either a real physiological condition presenting as low mood due to lack of sunlight, or an excuse for being a grumpy so-and-so throughout Autumn and Winter. All I can say is that the SAD light next to my bed has made a big difference. You should've seen me before!!!

Now every Monday, possibly...

I like Sim's idea of blogging every Monday so I'll give it a go - I think he's tapping away right now!

So, here's my heart rate from yesterday's Marwell Zoo 10k run. Even my shoulders are aching today...

The big rise at about 4km is where I soooo nearly gave up and walked, it was a killer (for me) hill but I knew that I'd be gutted if I stopped and would be kicking myself later and I JUST managed to keep going. After that the course is pretty much all gently downhill. You finish on a couple of hundred yards uphill stretch, though, to cross the line in agony - that's when my HR peaked at 203...

Races always make me think cheesy thoughts about life, you know: the victory when you think you're going to give up but you push through, the top of the hill WILL come, the pain IS bearable, I will NOT vomit, you know the stuff!

There's a lot of faith involved - faith that you will feel BETTER in a km or two, that you CAN do it, that you ARE strong enough to keep going, and I did pray in tongues up that hill for God's help to get me there, and He did.

Experience is crucial too, call it learned wisdom. I know that last time I felt this bad on a hill, it DID pass and I DID keep going, I've been here before and He brought me through then as He will now.

Now, I'm not pretending that my struggle was a real life struggle, but I do find it interesting how it mirrors, on a macro scale, bits of life.

You are the hungry

I reach for You