I commit to...erm...

I've started having monthly gatherings for the musicians and techies (MUSOTECH) who serve the Sunday gatherings at Central Hall. We've had two now, and I'm excited about what we've started. I am not a natural gatherer but have realised how important these times are for getting to know each other and having all of those small conversations that make such a difference to "team". I think it's called face time in management speak.

I prepare the recordings of the talks at Central Hall for the website - now, I could email in the MP3 and stay at home but I choose to take it in because I usually have a few conversations with people "oh, as you're here...", and I've connected. I like these interactions, it's part of belonging.

We feel like we belong when we commit ourselves to something, when we are prepared to put ourselves out for a group or cause at a cost. So it is that we are working towards a sign up sheet (or something) for the musos and techies outlining that to which we are actually committing ourselves. My thoughts, so far, are that we do an annual sign up, probably following the academic year. People commit for a specific time, not a vague "this could be a week or the rest of my life" type thing. Each person then gets a chance, annually, to recommit or take time out.

Looking over a range of other churches' versions of this I've picked up on three main areas of commitment:
1) Personal spirituality: be following Jesus...
2) Commitment to church body: other areas of service, small group membership, Sunday attendance..., and
3) Practical considerations: punctuality, availability, practice, gear, prompt email responses...

The examples I brought spanned a wide range from very specific to quite vague. I'm hoping we'll arrive at something that is not prohibitive but does, nonetheless, require a step of commitment from the person wanting to be a part of the team.

I think we'll enjoy a greater sense of belonging and team when we all know the framework within which we are corporately operating and what our reasonable expectations are of each other.

We shall see!

I am clearly not a gorilla...

So I went to Go Ape as I'd said to my beautiful and generous wife that it looked fun to do and that I'd like to have a go. Me, who gets vertigo standing on a dining room chair changing a light bulb, yeah right! Anyway, she booked me and our lodger in and off we went. Oh, I was being so brave during the safety talk; yeah, whatever, just let me loose!

And then, we went up. And so followed getting on for three hours of terror! There are four sections - between each you get to plant foot on terra firma and after two I was ready to pack it in. But I knew that I would be kicking myself if I didn't force myself to do it (sounds like that triathlon hill, doesn't it? Oh, foolish pride...) and do all the most difficult options (Black - most "extreme", ooh lummy...). What doesn't help is when your brother-in-law and two nephews have already been round, done all the Black routes and are looking up at you. Grinning. Go on, Uncle Mark! So I had to prove myself (...and all our kids were watching. They were very impressed...).

Well, I got to the end, but I did experience a few moments of near panic and was so glad to get to the finish. I got a certificate! And a sticker! I'm really glad I did it, but once is enough. Last night I dreamt I was hanging off the edge of a high building...

Our lodger was throwing himself off backwards and upside down - no fear whatsoever, I don't understand...and he was shaking tree I was standing on, I forgive him...

It would be easy to do a bit about being afraid but pushing on knowing that ultimately you cannot fall, but hey, you can do that bit for yourself. Bed for me soon, and more dreaming about falling from a great height. Super.

If it 'aint broke...

We all enjoy a love hate relationship with computers, don't we? (OK you Mac users, for you just a love love relationship...ahh, sweet!) Today the "special tool" (hammer to you) was nearly used on my music PC but I'm typing on it now, so clearly it lived to see another day.

So my PC's working just fine but I think that a newer webcam would be better than the one I have (fruit of a frustrating attempt to have a video skype chat with someone), so it's off to ebay and a Logitech Fusion now sits atop my monitor - I took the photo with it. But, I did spend a lot of the day getting the computer back to how it was in the morning! If it ain't broke as they say...

So I install the new(er) webcam and find that now my soundcard and ethernet card don't work. No sound, no web. Call me Mr Picky, but this is definately worse than before, not better. Better had been my intention.

A friend commented (as I was keeping everyone up to date on my progress via Facebook) that people who go to Macs just can't take the pain of these things happening, and that I should be a man and fix it. And you know, I do feel great having fixed the problem I didn't want to have in the first place. If nothing had gone wrong I wouldn't be feeling as triumphant as I am now!

There's something in this. Given the choice, I'd probably rather avoid all problems and the associated frustrations, but then I wouldn't have those moments of, "YES! LOOK GOD, WE DID IT!", would I? The need to solve problems seems to be built in but so, it also seems, is the desire to avoid them.

The good news, folks, is that we probably don't need to be seeking out problems to keep us sharp, they will come anyway. Especially if you have a PC, not a Mac.

Now, it's Ctrl+Alt+Delete isn't it...??

Early morning prayer...

Yesterday I awoke to the sound of Radio 4 at about 7am, and promptly began my regular Sunday morning prayer session. This is something I have found easy to apply myself to and, in fact, have found it a very natural thing to do first thing on a Sunday morning before leading the musical worship at the meeting. It is, after all, the Lord's day.

In case you'd like to learn it, it goes like this:
"Oooooooohhhhh Looooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrd, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaase don't let this be what I think it is. Pleeeeeeeeeaase let this be a dream. Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease can I STAY IN BED???? Amen?"

Ha ha! And I MEAN it too! I am absolutely not a morning person (ask my wife...no, actually, don't...) and that's with the SAD light that lights up before I do.***

In these moments of purity I do remember, however, that later I will be glad I got up and dragged myself to Central Hall. And so it was yesterday - what a wonderful time we had! I don't say this to honour myself, but to honour God. I point out my regular prayer session lest you imagine that I am any more than flesh, blood and willing spirit! But God. But God. But God.

His presence was tangible, it is one I will remember.

The rhythm of God is always there. Sometimes we hear it, sometimes we don't. It had no beginning and it has no end. Sometimes we hear it, sometimes we don't.

Yesterday I think we we heard it :-)


*** Seasonal Affective Disorder: either a real physiological condition presenting as low mood due to lack of sunlight, or an excuse for being a grumpy so-and-so throughout Autumn and Winter. All I can say is that the SAD light next to my bed has made a big difference. You should've seen me before!!!

Now every Monday, possibly...

I like Sim's idea of blogging every Monday so I'll give it a go - I think he's tapping away right now!

So, here's my heart rate from yesterday's Marwell Zoo 10k run. Even my shoulders are aching today...

The big rise at about 4km is where I soooo nearly gave up and walked, it was a killer (for me) hill but I knew that I'd be gutted if I stopped and would be kicking myself later and I JUST managed to keep going. After that the course is pretty much all gently downhill. You finish on a couple of hundred yards uphill stretch, though, to cross the line in agony - that's when my HR peaked at 203...

Races always make me think cheesy thoughts about life, you know: the victory when you think you're going to give up but you push through, the top of the hill WILL come, the pain IS bearable, I will NOT vomit, you know the stuff!

There's a lot of faith involved - faith that you will feel BETTER in a km or two, that you CAN do it, that you ARE strong enough to keep going, and I did pray in tongues up that hill for God's help to get me there, and He did.

Experience is crucial too, call it learned wisdom. I know that last time I felt this bad on a hill, it DID pass and I DID keep going, I've been here before and He brought me through then as He will now.

Now, I'm not pretending that my struggle was a real life struggle, but I do find it interesting how it mirrors, on a macro scale, bits of life.

You are the hungry

I reach for You

But at what cost...

So it's a cancer free baby for Christmas is it?

Sounds wonderful on the face of it, right? Well, what's actually happened is that embryos with the gene for this type of breast cancer have been discarded and this one, free from the gene, has been kept. So, when the mother says, "We are eliminating the gene from our line." she is actually describing the elimination of a line of family. That's people, folks. The message being sent here is that if you are going to suffer breast cancer then it is better that you, as a person, never even existed.

An obvious question is begged but it's not new. "Screening" is available for more and more conditions - how many of us would not have made it through the genetic sieve due to a propensity towards a certain type of disease or illness? Are we seriously going to say that a life involving disease is a life worth nothing?

I find all of this very unsettling.

The pursuit of perfection is understandable but, at what cost?

Four days in Florida...

Ali and I have just returned from four days in Pensacola - what a great time! We'd never been to America before and loved the part we saw. We went to meet up with Roy who was at Brownsville Assembly of God for three nights.

I simply enjoyed everything about the trip (oh, apart from getting lost between the airport and the hotel when we arrived...). The sun shines so brightly, the cars are so big, the roads are so wide and empty, the beach was beautiful, the flying was exciting, the hotel was perfect for us...

The photo was taken on Gulf Breeze beach - it looks like a postcard, doesn't it? So beautiful. I've posted a lot more photos on my Facebook page. I think you have to be my "friend" to see them, I'm not sure?

We think this was only the third time in nearly 14 years of marriage that we've been away together on our own (one of those was our honeymoon)! Hmm, maybe we could do it more frequently!

It wasn't just the place and the weather that made it so good, though. It was the whole package. It was the fact that we travelled thousands of miles to go to three meetings and hook up with Roy, Mel and the kids, that God spoke to us, that we were prayed for, that we worshipped Jesus together.

A wonderful trip. Special.

I'm back!

Well I am back from my adventures on Tour; when my head is straighter I'll post about it.
In the meantime I spotted this about one of my most favourite subjects: "The world has never seen such freezing heat" in the Telegraph. Another small step in the right direction.

Made me cry this morning...

Big adventure...

I am currently on tour with Roy Fields - how did that happen??

If you'd like to see where we've been so far you can take a look at Warren Kritko's photos which he's uploading as we go along. So far we have had 5 dates, tonight is Winchester Vineyard and then we head North tomorrow to Yorkshire then onto Scotland. The rest of the itinerary is here on Roy's website.

We are having an amazing time, what can I say?

The thing I love about Roy and Melanie is that they put Jesus first, last and everywhere in between - now there's something I can wholeheartedly buy into :-)

I try not to read school letters...

So the kids are back at school and I am able to "pop out" again! Oh the freedom!*

So it was that on Wednesday morning I drove our four to school. Our two boys go to the Junior School (Blue jumpers) and the two girls go to the adjacent Infant School (Green jumpers).

We noticed, as we got closer to the schools, that whilst we had seen green jumpers, we hadn't seen any blue ones. Oh, that sinking feeling. I convinced myself that if I concentrated really hard I could make the boys' school open by sheer willpower.

No.

So the boys had the day at home and I stayed in.

I have, I should say, done this several times and the kids are quite used to it!

* I would, of course, never want to be without our kids. But it's great to drop them ALL off at school!

A bit better...

The results are in, out of 244:
Swim 61st
Bike 174th
Run 115th

Overall 140th

(The winner finished in 1 hr 5 mins 4 secs and the last finisher in 2hrs 41 mins 20 secs - question: who made the greatest effort, eh?)

Now, I must learn how my bike shoes do up and undo...

Very happy...

Yes, it is over and I finished well! Total time 1 hr 34 min and a bit. It's a fascinating head journey, I find, when doing these things. You're up, you're down, you believe, you lose faith in yourself one minute, you regain it the next...

The swim was good, under 7 mins, but I clambered out feeling exhausted - oh dear, what have I done? I've still got the bike and the run to go! I've only just started and I'm done for...but then I got to have a slight rest as I couldn't remember how my bike shoes undid! Ha, ha! Anyway, this has to be one of the most beautiful bike routes - through the New Forest, avoiding ponies (cattlegrids are a bit scary on a bike in the rain I can tell you...). Onto the bike and it was fine (flat course, this one) - I kept my cadence up which may have helped. Also I knew where I was in the ride by checking my time, at Salisbury I felt all over the place and thought it would never end. Just over 1 hour and I was back at the transition area, this time trying to figure how to get the shoes off! Starting the run felt bad, really hard and I decided that I would just keep going, NO stopping. As it progressed, though, it got easier and easier ending up in me being surprised that the finish came so quickly :-)

The two pictures are the same Triathlon, one in 1995 and today.

13 years difference! 13 years! Wow, you know you're getting older when you can say that ;-)

Southampton Triathlon...

...is in the morning! Can't wait :-)
I'll be in the water at 9:25 and should be well finished by Monday.

Pascal's Prayer

“Lord, help me to do great things as though they were little,
since I do them with Your power;
and little things as though they were great,
since I do them in Your name.”

So...

Frederick Beuchner wrote:
"Intellectually we all know that we will die, but we do not really know it in the sense that the knowledge becomes a part of us. We do not really know it in the sense of living as though it were true. On the contrary, we tend to live as though our lives would go on forever."

Francis Chan, "Crazy Love, Overwhelmed by a relentless God."

You shall go to the ball...

I believe my knee is better, hurray! This being the case I'll be hurting myself again this Sunday morning taking part in the Southampton Fast Twitch Triathlon. Love the name, eh? Fast Twitch, referring to muscle fibres that make you go fast. Hmm... I'm nervous even thinking about it! Well, nervous and excited at the same time...

400m swim, 18 mile bike, 3.5 mile run, no problem. Oh, unless there's any sort of hill on the bike in which case I nearly grind to a halt, or the organisers fail to put up CORRECT SIGNAGE ON THE RUN SECTION AND SEND ME THE WRONG WAY EVENTUALLY HAVING TO ASK A RANDOM OLD LADY HAVE YOU SEEN A LEISURE CENTRE AROUND HERE ANYWHERE WHITE OAK I SHALL SAY NO MORE.

And relax.

Nerves are funny things, they make you visit the bathroom before the race with a particular sense of urgency, and in this I am not alone. It's the only time I see a queue for the gents!

Nowadays we associate emotions with the heart but the Greeks, I think, held that the liver was where it's at feelings-wise. This makes much more sense, it's in the intestines if you ask me (proof is in the previous paragraph!). After all, we talk about having the "guts" to do something or not, don't we?*

Anyway, enough wibble for now, I need to go and, erm, pay a visit...

Oh, still no sign of Boots the cat and the sighting was another cat that looked a bit like him :-(

*It's just occurred to me that St Valentine's Day cards possibly wouldn't carry the same appeal with images of intestines on them, would they??

And here we go again...

A while back I posted here about exam grades and golf clubs. And here we go again, this time with A levels. In light of Universities having to reject record numbers of students with three A grades there will be, wait for it, an A* grade. So now the grades chunk down one step as with GCSEs.

I actually heard someone on Radio 4 in support of this saying that those who in future got A grades wouldn't feel as though they'd done any worse than those who got A*. Eh? What are you talking about?? The current A will become a de facto B. There can only be one top grade! Let's count it: one.

It seems to me that the examination process serves two main purposes:
a) Students achieve something tangible. Good for them.
b) We differentiate between students according to their attainment. Good for us.

Problems come when we want all the students to not only achieve something, but achieve everything. When I was a Secondary School Maths Teacher I saw a continuum of ability in my pupils. No really, I did. You may not like it but some were very bright, some were very, erm, challenged and most were in the middle. It's just the way it is.

Why are we trying to pretend that we're all the same? So you got a B, that's because you didn't do well enough to get an A. Tough? Probably, but the alternative is what we have each year as the results come out: more and more bunching at the top leading to the inability to differentiate between the best.

I see the sense in criterion referenced testing for some sort of entrance or medical exam where a definitive standard needs to be achieved, but what's the point with GCSEs and A levels?

I don't suppose there'd be any point suggesting a return to normative assessment? No, didn't think so, it just wouldn't be fair...