As an adult, being obsessive it seems to me, has two faces. There is the internal, private one and the external, public one. Since mid December I have lost a lot of weight and, for me, it is a life changing time, and I can hardly believe I've done it. I am glancing in shop windows, catching my reflection and doing a double take - my mind is still stubbornly expecting to see the same old profile that I'd tried to ignore or deny.
On the outside I was accepting of it - "Hey, this is the shape God made me!" - but on the inside ever more desperate not to be like I was. I know that unless I am very, very careful I will simply eat too much again. Repeatedly. Yes, unless you're like me you will not understand. Unless you are recognising this mindset in yourself it's just a bit over the top, isn't it? I look at this picture and think, "Yeah. just bring me some ketchup and leave me to it!"In Winner's book, one of the things that came across to me is the seriousness with which he set his mind to the task. This is not a diet, this is a life or death change of lifestyle. It is that serious. Maybe not for you, but for me and others, quite simply, it is. There is no end, there is no finish line, there is only a behaviour modification that must be lifelong. Managing this approach involves the private and the public. Privately I can do as I please but publicly I need to integrate my eating so as not too make a fuss...
But, the benefits are numerous! Where do I start? I am not disgusted with myself. I am not ashamed of my shape. I am no longer approaching private despair. I carry a message of hope! It can be done! It really can - and by doing less, eating less!
For women, it is easier to discuss weight and eating. For men, well, don't be such a girl! I believe there are a large number of men who feel as I felt, who don't believe they can stop overeating, and I don't want to keep my feelings of victory, freedom, release, choice, increased self-esteem etc. to myself! I want other guys, who want to change, to know that it can be done.
It CAN be done, you CAN do it, and if I can help I will :-)
3 comments:
Mark I'm going to get that book when I am over in May. I have the same issues wasn't fat at school but have just arrived at that place where things need to change so Friday i decided to get serious, I have cut down on in between meals and alcohol actually no alcohol except if out with friends, none at home. Been thinking about jogging so did a small run yesterday, my chest hurt!! but I am on the road to change of lifestyle which is what it has to be, the older you get the harder it is to lose the flab. So my goal is to lose 12 kilos, got to go from 100 to 88!!! very daunting. Great to read this though it gives me hope.
Hey Brian!
This is GREAT! Whatever you decide to do it absolutely must be SUSTAINABLE as as lifestyle. Guys like us can end up worse off than before if we embark on a vague ill-fitting plan that doesn't work long term. Don't rush into anything. You know yourself best. For me for example, I left my alcohol intake unchanged and did no exercise to start with. I needed to be able to say that it had worked simply by eating less. Eating less requires no more time, no more effort, no more money, no more planning...and yet is a huge change of lifestyle. It does require restraint and strategies when hungry but it most surely CAN be done. I'd love to chat with you sometime! I'm 15kg lighter now and LOVIN' IT!!!!
thanks mark, I guess I'll get the book on amazon, my biggest problem is the not eating after certain times, being that spanish meals don't happen until about 9pm! I've cut out the snacking between meals and the alcohol because they were two things I knew I could do, probably walking the dog at a faster pace is another thing I can introduce as it is something I already do, just need to do it quicker! I'll email you.
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