Saturday, December 30, 2006

Essence 2: He's back and he's BIGGER!

I've previously posted about identity in Essence and I've been thinking again about this over the past few days. It's because I feel particularly large at the moment - waaay to much nice food. I posted a little about eating in Eating. Simple eh? Nope. and these two threads come together here.

I'm having to remind myself that I am not wholly defined by my weight. I know this, but I can find myself focusing on this aspect of "me" and letting it direct my thoughts in an unhelpful way.

I'm going back to a slimming group thing in January with a friend of mine - we've both done this one before and we had success with it, so off we go...

The problem with overeating is that, rationally, it makes no sense! Just eat less, don't snack, etc. - it's not rocket science. However, it is difficult not to have just one more whatever it is when it tastes soooooo nice...

So I approach the New Year with renewed hope and enthusiasm looking towards my first weigh in. Last time I lost a steady 2lbs a week for months and reached a very acceptable weight - I was over the moon. As we've heard so many times from so many people, however, it's keeping it off that's the even greater challenge.

Fundamentally, I love to eat, that's a part of me - my hope is that I'll learn to manage this aspect of myself and stay a bit slimmer than I am now.

Thursday, December 28, 2006

Legal eagle


Driving the car the other day I saw two things that set me thinking (and you know it doesn't take much...):
1) Someone driving whilst talking on their mobile, and
2) Someone else throwing litter out of their car window.

What interested me were my instant knee-jerk reactions to each occurrence:
a) Thinking, "that's BAD", and
b) Thinking, "I wouldn't do that!"

So, condemnation swiftly followed by self-righteousness. Good for me.

From whence comes our ethics, morals, social mores, rules, regulations...? Which are "valid" and which are not? Which to obey? All or some?

I know that I feel two main compulsions to obey the law of the land:
i) I don't want to get in trouble, and
ii) My Believer's view that God's in control and authority comes from him (barring direct contradiction of his standards, as I understand them, like not murdering people.)

Some speed limits annoy me greatly - dual carriageway with 30mph?? Why? But I think I should obey the speed limit because I'm a Believer. I'm told the Angels get out if you exceed the speed limit anyway...

Above, 1) is dangerous and could result in a crash so fair enough, 2) is just annoying and unnecessary, speeding is also dangerous but some limits seem silly and we all think we know best so Speed Cameras get put up to raise money, err, I mean to keep us all safer.

God wants me to keep to the speed limits so I try very hard to do so (on my motorbike it's MUCH MUCH MORE DIFFICULT!!). It's one of the ways he teaches me patience, I think.

Observing the laws of the land is good for me, it's a humility thing.

What do you think?

Monday, December 25, 2006

Short note

I would like to wish all of you loyal readers a very happy Christmas!

We have battled through our seemingly never ending piles of presents for our kids, but we do have four, so I reckon it's to be accepted.

Having picked up the kids from school the other day whilst walking to the car one of our sons said, "Dad, why don't you like Christmas?", I said "Well, you get soooooo many presents and it does get me down a bit. I want us to remember Jesus , you see...".

Our eldest daughter (4) said, "But Dad, we still know it's Jesus' birthday!"

Fair enough. We'll do both.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Scale


Found this planet/star video today. Take a look. See how far into it you can maintain your mental model. My first "gasp" came at Earth to Neptune but this is very very small potatoes. Jupiter to the Sun is quite amazing but still apparently tiny, Pollos to Arcturus seems crazy but Beteigeuze (Betelguese to you and me)??? AND THEN MY CEPHEI!!! I was losing any understanding of scale at the Sun...

I remember as a boy I'd imagine flying through infinite space, on and on. The fact that you could never reach the "end" (if you did, you just went a little bit further, right?) filled my head with wonder and awe. You can always add 1 to the biggest number ever...and get a bigger number! Aaaargh, there's no end to it.

Later, much later, I discovered that there are classes of infinity, different types, countable and non-countable for example. Some infinities are "bigger" than others. Eh? Yep!

Then there's the square root of -1. It doesn't exist, does it? Yes it does (but does it?) and it's called i or j (depending on your discipline...). The thing that does my head in is that although it's "imaginary", real world solutions are gained from its employment. It's like the maths skips out to another dimension for a moment or two...

Actually, there are 10 dimensions in reality (or so...).
I can only find 4 in my office, but it is a bit of a mess I'm told...

God is indeed very very big.
And we are indeed very very not.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Cavatina



I blogged about Cavatina in this previous post and was thinking about it today.
I found this guy Peo Kindgren playing it on YouTube and it's soooo beautiful; I'm still not going to listen to it too much, it's special...

Another reference to my friend Blaine...

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Grace

When I about 21 I knew everything. Dunno what's happened in the meantime! Actually, I do know. I've been shown grace. "Shape up or ship out" is great until it's you who doesn't "shape up", right? I want another chance when I make a mistake, not to be written off. As I'm shown grace, I find that I'm naturally more gracious to those around me.


An occasion that blew me away was when I was to lead the worship at a men's conference years ago, Friday night and then Saturday. I was late for the Friday and missed the slot completely - someone else stepped in for me at the last minute. The thing was, though, when we arrived and walked in I shot a look at the Pastor who just waved, smiled and shrugged. I felt such grace toward me. This simple act of grace still informs my actions to this day.

I heard Steve Chalke on the radio - a lady was trying to badger him into giving a yes or know answer to a complex question. Then he said this:

"The problem with black and white answers, with premature black and white answers, is that they crush people."

How right he is. We're not to crush people but love them. More and more I see that one rule does not fit all, that each person presents a unique set of circumstances, and as I've said before, we am not in possession of all the facts. No wonder he said not to judge...


Friday, December 15, 2006

"You shouldn't feel anything..."


Check out Blaine's recent experience of the NHS in all it's (and his) glory.


For mine, I was unconscious, thank you Jesus.

Hmmm, I wonder if Blaine felt like a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Adversity


Found this just now:

You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as though one problem was solved a new one arose. Her mother took her to the kitchen.

She filled three pots with water.

In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs and the last she placed ground coffee beans.

She let them sit and boil without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners.

She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what do you see?"

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

She brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg. Finally, she asked her to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked. "What's the point, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity--boiling water--but each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior. But, after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique; however, after they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. " When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot , an egg, or a coffee bean?"

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hours are the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate to another level?

How do you handle Adversity?

ARE YOU A CARROT, AN EGG, OR A COFFEE BEAN?



Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Winterval



Have a read of this.

And check out this picture - where do you even start???
(Looks like 'ole Santa's got lumbered with the babysitting, where's everyone else? And is that Noah's dove in the rafters - must be over 2000 years old??)

Now, I am no fan of Christmas (and I do almost zero shopping or preparing or arranging...). I am a huge fan of Christ though!

I won't rehearse here all the stuff about commercialisation and presents and money and whatsitallaboutanyway etc.; I'm sure we're familiar with all that.

The other day I remembered all the de-Christing discussions that are happening around the country. When I first read the article linked above I initially reacted with pique but also recognised a contradiction inside me. Do I really want to yoke Jesus with this festival?

I actually want a Christmas about Christ.
"Christmas", however for most people, has become largely dissociated from Christ, from Jesus.

So, what would be so bad about separating the two?

We may be living in a lip-service "Christian" country, but we're not living in a "Believer" country are we? Significant difference!

So, we could have Winterval (or Presentval or whatever): presents, lights, Santa, reindeer, trees, mistletoe etc, and as a Community of Believers we could do our own thing, whatever that may be.

Jesus was a challenge wasn't he? He wasn't crucified for being too nice. He presented people with a choice: carry on as you are or repent (change your mind) and live differently from now on. I think people respond much more to a clear choice and a challenge than a form of weak Christianity that says, "Become a Christian and stay the same." What's the point of that?

And let's not fail to notice that "Christmas" is actually pronounced "Krismas" anyway, not "Christ-mas".


So, whaddayathink?


Thursday, December 07, 2006

Two thoughts released into the wild



1) We have a broken wall clock in our front room.
Twice a day it tells exactly the right time.

2) When a car is in motion the tyre contact points on the road are still.
So at no time is all of the car going along.

Thanks for that, just needed to free them.

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Sausages.

There once was a man. He liked eating sausages. He would eat any cheap old sausages and enjoy them greatly. "Sausages are delicious!", he'd think to himself, "I will always eat sausages like these."

One day he dined at a friend's house. Eating his friend's sausages, he was surprised, "These sausages are much nicer than mine..." he exclaimed! That night he had some of his own sausages but now they just didn't seem so good. "Hmm, I've tasted better...", he mused.

Next time in the store he bought the sausages like the ones his friend had served him. "Oh, yes!", he rejoiced later eating his dinner, "Now we're talking, these are the best sausages in the world - I shall always eat sausages like these!".

However, his curiosity had been aroused and he started wondering, "What would the best sausages in the whole world taste like??"

Thus it was that the man found himself on a winding road in the search for "The Last Sausage". The sausage that would end his exhausting and frustrating search for satisfaction. He'd taste the next type of sausage and say, "At last, this is the ONE!", but alas, doubts would creep in and he would change his mind and start wondering again.

He would hear rumours of truly great sausages, historic sausages, classic sausages, even signature series sausages!! He would have given up hope but he was simply unable to arrest the urge inside him that kept him searching.

Browsing Ebay one day, he saw IT. He gasped! "This IS the one!", he cried, "and look at the price! It's a bargain with the current exchange rate - if I sell my other sausages I could buy this one!"

And so, while his wife was out, he tried to buy the sausage of his dreams. The payment was refused by the credit card company who then RANG HIS WIFE AND GRASSED HIM UP.

There is a happy ending to this story...

The man's wife was a very gracious woman and approved the payment, God bless her!

As I write, the man is joyously waiting for his Last Sausage to be sent, confident that it is indeed "The Last Sausage".

Peace, at last.

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Essence

How do I define myself?

Who am I?

There are things I am and things I do.

So, I am a son, a brother, a husband, a father. The first two were given and the second two I chose.

In terms of what I do, well, what are the things I love to do? I am a "songwriter", "worship leader", "soundperson", "golfer".

A number of these I feel driven to do, particularly songwriting - I "hear" an idea and I have to get it recorded, I'm driven to do it, to get it out, to express myself. My friend Lynn would ask me as I gave her the next CD, "So who's looking after the kids?". I am a Homedad, you see. Now I say, "No children were harmed in the making of this CD!" and I fit it in more with my responsibilities here at home.

Now, as I define myself, what would happen to me inside if I couldn't write anymore? What if I couldn't play guitar anymore? Sing anymore? Hear anymore? These are scary thoughts to me.

Do I define myself primarily in terms of my abilities, or as a Child of God?

What about the stuff we have? Imagine I didn't have whatever it is and how do I feel? Do I feel diminished? If I do, then there may be some work to be done. If I don't, then great!

For me, a useful thought experiment is to imagine Jesus is at the end of our road and I want to run to him. Is there anything I have that would cause me to hesitate? In going through this process I've found I can "amend" the ties that can bind me to things.

And they really are just things no matter how beautiful the sound of those pickups on that guitar through that amp, or whatever scratches your itch...

Another way to "amend" the ties is to lend whatever it is to someone and have it come back damaged. That helps too...

Saturday, December 02, 2006

Dinner guests

Last night Ali and I entertained a lovely young couple over dinner. They'd prefer to remain anonymous (some hope...) so let's just call them Billy (not her real name) and Caroline (not his real name). The pictures are them in silhouette; don't want to give anything away!


Now Caroline (that's the man, not his real name) is an accomplished Chef of high renown and so we were a bit worried about what to prepare. However, it turns out we needn't have concerned ourselves as it transpired during the meal that he prefers Galaxy to Dairy Milk!! I ask you!? May as well eat the candles we had on the table as eat Galaxy! Once I'd realised that Caroline (the man) had no taste buds I could relax.


Billy (the lady, not her real name) is a very clever lady indeed. She did, however, think that my office/music/recording room is a mess. I think it's a lady thing (my wife Ali thinks it's a mess too and she's a lady). Although Caroline (that's the man remember, not his real name) thought it was a mess too! So it's a man thing now?? I'm confusing myself...

Anyway, it's not a "mess", it's a physical representation of my brain utilising the "Volcano" method of organisation. I may open it up as an installation... not my brain, the room.

We had a great evening, neither the cow nor chicken died in vain, and I proved that I can reheat food with the best of 'em.

Friday, December 01, 2006

His grace is enough for me

So, yesterday I had a look at some more hymns and found this one on grace by J Bruce Evans dated 1906. I've failed to find any information about him; the picture is not him, although he may have been feeling like this at the time...

Just when I am disheartened,

Just when with cares oppressed,
Just when my way is darkest,
Just when I am distressed-

Then is my Saviour near me,
He knows my every care;
Jesus will never leave me,

He helps my burdens bear.

Just when my hopes are vanished,
Just when my friends forsake,

Just when the fight is thickest,

Just when with fear I shake -

Then comes a still small whisper:
"Fear not, My child, I'm near."
Jesus brings peace and comfort,
I love His voice to hear.

His grace is enough for me, for me,
His grace is enough for me;
Through sorrow and pain,
Through loss or gain,
His grace is enough for me.

Just when my tears are flowing,
Just when with anguish bent,
Just when temptation's hardest,
Just when with sadness rent-
Then comes a thought of comfort:
"I know my Father knows."
Jesus has grace sufficient

To conquer all my foes.


I've "music'd" this one too, listen here.