Essence

How do I define myself?

Who am I?

There are things I am and things I do.

So, I am a son, a brother, a husband, a father. The first two were given and the second two I chose.

In terms of what I do, well, what are the things I love to do? I am a "songwriter", "worship leader", "soundperson", "golfer".

A number of these I feel driven to do, particularly songwriting - I "hear" an idea and I have to get it recorded, I'm driven to do it, to get it out, to express myself. My friend Lynn would ask me as I gave her the next CD, "So who's looking after the kids?". I am a Homedad, you see. Now I say, "No children were harmed in the making of this CD!" and I fit it in more with my responsibilities here at home.

Now, as I define myself, what would happen to me inside if I couldn't write anymore? What if I couldn't play guitar anymore? Sing anymore? Hear anymore? These are scary thoughts to me.

Do I define myself primarily in terms of my abilities, or as a Child of God?

What about the stuff we have? Imagine I didn't have whatever it is and how do I feel? Do I feel diminished? If I do, then there may be some work to be done. If I don't, then great!

For me, a useful thought experiment is to imagine Jesus is at the end of our road and I want to run to him. Is there anything I have that would cause me to hesitate? In going through this process I've found I can "amend" the ties that can bind me to things.

And they really are just things no matter how beautiful the sound of those pickups on that guitar through that amp, or whatever scratches your itch...

Another way to "amend" the ties is to lend whatever it is to someone and have it come back damaged. That helps too...