It's my birthday!

Happy birthday to me!
38 now (strictly speaking, not for a couple of hours...). I gave a lift to someone after rehearsal tonight and mentioned that it's over 15 years since I finished university. Actually it's 17 years now. I find it a wierd thing to be able to say that. It does, however, seem OKish. Four kids, extremely happily married for 11 years, I think I should be about this age. BUT, I remember being 29 and just wanting to be 30. I thought 29 was the fag end of my 20s; too old to really consider yourself "in your twenties". Roll on 30, I thought!

40 feels different and that is a surprise to me! I'm not 40 yet, of course, butI've always been so forward looking (ask Caroline Kennedy - she tested me!) that my dreams are what almost exclusively drive me. The world has always been my lobster. I'm approaching 40 and for the first time I find myself wondering: what will I accomplish (although four incredible kids is probably enough)? I'm likely over half way now, I feel grown up, fairly anyway, but most of the time I feel like I've only just begun! The older I get the less I know I know. Andy Fay agrees with me here (his prayer on Sunday morning at our home group left us all tearful with laughter btw...) - the longer I live, the more guarded I am with my opinions. I've been alive long enough to have changed my mind several times about things I knew for absolute certain in my twenties...

Perhaps I shall become a wisened old man who never speaks at all!

Rarely as simple as I'd like...

I bought some memory for our main PC, 1GB of Ram allegedly compatible with our machine and it arrived yesterday. I couldn't see how to slide the side off the machine (it's OK, it is actually supposed to slide off...). Googled to find a reviewer saying how difficult it was and they'd had to apply significant force to get it off. Hmm. OK, significant force it is! Still couldn't do it so I used a screwdriver to lever it off (a little gung ho, I know...). Then I noticed the catch that just needs to be slid to one side with the easiest of touches and open sesame! Felt a little foolish at that point. No harm done thankfully, apart from a juicy gouge where I slipped!!

I de-static myself by grabbing the radiator and the computer at the same time whilst standing on a wood floor (just following instructions, well, not the radiator, that was my own idea...). Push the memory into the vacant slot and...it doesn't work. Computer won't boot with the new memory in either slot, alone or with the current 512K. Bah!

Just relieved it works again with the original memory in it. Phew!

Rarely as simple as you'd like...

On Radio 4 today I heard a discussion about energy saving light bulbs versus normal ones. How about this for a great argument:

1) Normal bulbs get hot and have a heating effect in your home.
2) Energy saving bulbs don't get very hot and so their heating effect is much less.
3) Your thermostatically controlled heating system compensates for this lack of heating by turning the heating on earlier thereby wiping out the energy savings due to the bulbs.

It's beautiful!!

In the post...

I'm at Mum's today. My brother and I have been sorting out some of Dad's stuff and moving beds etc. I was just glancing up at the scanner that Dad ordered. I posted about it here. It arrived after he died so he never saw it. It's very good, he'd have liked it.

Finished, again!

I've finished the song again and you can listen to it here.

As I said previously, it's about the now and not yet of God's kingdom.

This is the way of things until Jesus returns.

The pleasures and dangers of cynicism...

(Cynicism as it's conversationally understood as opposed to its classical definition...)

I hear on the radio that the England cricket team have won something! Fantastic! Or is it? You see, I have to confess to a niggling disappointment with this news. I know I felt it. I've been thinking about this and wondering why; I've come to these two conclusions:

a) Negativity is easy. Very easy. It takes no effort, whereas thinking positively can be a challenge.
b) Maintaining hope is tiring. It can lead to disappointment. Expect the worse and it's safer.

Especially in the body I need to be deliberately choosing to think well of people and their intentions. This verse springs to mind:

Philippians 4:8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Come on Ingerlund...

Kinda frustrating...

So I read Billy's blog post (Singing the Lord's song in a strange land?) and wrote a song about the now and not yet of God's kingdom. I like it, worked at it yesterday, got it recorded today to my satisfaction (which took a few hours). It wouldn't export to a WAV as my D drive was almost full so I made some space by deleting all my old recordings AND EVERYTHING I'D JUST DONE. AAAAARGH!

I'm re-recording it.

Kinda frustrating.

Does anyone else do things like this?

"I shall have a nice cup of coffee!"

Enter kitchen.
Take out used coffee filter full of grounds and go towards bin.
Bin is too full.
Put coffee filter back in machine.
Tie and lift out bin bag and go out to the green bins...
...which are still on the pavement from Monday morning.
No shoes on.
Right.
Put bag down on step and find shoes. Eventually.
Get green bins (well one, the other one can wait...) and deposit bag.
Right.
Get new bin liner from under sink - oh, these are the unnaturally long bags that the machine must have missed 'cos they are literally as tall as me. (Now, you can use these in the bin but it leads to trouble. The leaning tower can be ignored (by a man) for much longer as you know that the bag can take it!)
Put those bags back and get the right size one.
Put bag in bin and get some sort of mucky "stuff" on your finger.
Wash hands in sink.
No tea towel to dry hands.
Right.
Go to airing cupboard for tea towel.
Dry hands.
Stuff the coffee.
Leave kitchen.

I don't want to get toooooo thin...

YEAH RIIIIIGHT!!!

Well, I lost 1lb which does get me to the half a stone sticker (she didn't have any with her...).

I wanted to lose more but it was double last week's effort.

I gave Rob (his real name) a lift home and went the slightly longer way home and thought while I drove.

I was thinking, "All that restraint and self denial for just another pound!". Then I realised that I'm still seeing this as a time limited program that will come to an end. Then I'll put it all back on. That's what happened last time and that's what happens to lots of people who manage to lose weight. We say, "Phew, I've made it, thank you God it's over now! Now I can relax, I'll be thinner for ever...right, what shall I eat first??"

Now, I've been to another group that helps you face and manage the actual reasons why you eat as you do. This is a layer below isn't it? Eating can merely be the symptom of the underlying issue(s). Hence, we may get to our target weight by treating the symptom, but the issues remain and hey ho off we go again. So it is that so many are stuck on a merry-go-round of dieting/slimming plans.

If I can accept that eating less is a new way of life then that would be much better, wouldn't it?

"There is no (pudding) spoon."

There is no end to this program.

Addendum: I've just noticed what a bleak road picture I've chosen! OK, analyse, analyse, erm, a long road of self denial? Maybe...

50p

Weighed in at the slimming group thing (SGT) on Monday and this week I only lost half a pound. Half a lousy pound! Not impressed...

The friend I go with, let's call him "Rob" (for this is indeed his name), beat me by losing 2lbs, I think, so now it's 2-1 to him, and he got his half a stone sticker. Bah!

This Monday VICTORY WILL BE MINE!! I've had a good week and shown remarkable restraint so I'm expecting at least 2 lbs AND MY STICKER.