What to do with the pain?

I tend to avoid physical pain as much as possible as I don't like it and I feel it does me no great good.

Emotional and spiritual pain though, I sometimes seek out. My DVD collection includes a number of films that have left me emotionally shredded by their end. I don't entirely understand why, but I feel I have gained something in the viewing. My daily life as a Homedad is fairly routine (which I like); how quickly I could become numb.

Those that spring to mind are "Dead Man Walking" , "The Pianist" , "Schindler's List", "Rabbit Proof Fence", "American Gun", "Hotel Rwanda", I could go on...

Each of these (and others) has brought the tears to my eyes and each has taught me something. Each has wounded me and brought a keener edge to my empathy. Each has hurt.

I remember hearing John Wimber speak about suffering and describing situations involving great loss and pain. I waited with baited breath for him to reveal the answer to it all, and for me he did. He said, "And we say, Oh God, Oh God, Oh God!" That was it. And to me it made sense. It still does.

We cry out to him whom we know and trust. We take it to him and it hurts. We stretch out our hand and grasp for him, for he alone can restore us. He is our certain hope and the only way we can be truly free.

Wimber's talk reminds me of Job finally getting his chance to make his case before God. Job 38 begins, "Then the LORD answered Job out of the storm and said, "Who is this that darkens my counsel with words without knowledge?" Can you imagine what Job's feeling now??!!

We so easily speak "words without knowledge". In Chapter 42 Job replies, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful to know".

There are many things too wonderful for me to know. Perhaps in eternity I will know, but in the meantime I try to stay soft, embrace the pain and take it to him, saying, "Oh God, oh God, oh God..."